The Casualty «Dukat/Damar & OFC» 🔞 ✔️

10. Temptation

On the way home Nyran could not keep her mind from wandering. According to her sources, Dukat really was gone now, so she walked at ease without having to look over her shoulder and had time to think.

Damar...

Well, who else? Her new friends were just that: friends. None of them even remotely tempted her and it seemed like they shared the feeling. Those of her single colleagues of whom she might pick seemed intimidated by the fact that she had been with Dukat -- it came up in conversations over lunch several times and she theorized that they were scared their love-making expertise would be underwhelming to her... which was likely, but really not that important. And her Bajoran acquaintances were still not reptilian enough.

Damar was closer to her than anyone. She loved him for who he was and up until now it was purely friendly. He had always been a handsome man, she just had not been paying attention to the fact. At first, she subconsciously did not want to, then, over time, she had gotten used to not noticing. Now he was her friend, her confidant, her secret ally against the everyday woes the Dominion was inflicting on their lives. This friendship was way too important to jeopardize over crazed hormones.

Last, but not least, he was married. He had a family, a loving wife, children depending on their successful partnership. How could she put that woman through the same pain Dukat inflicted on her? She knew what it felt like to be betrayed by the man she loved -- and she would not wish it on her worst enemy...

Whatever feelings he might have stirred in her, she would have to stuff back down where they would not be able to hurt anyone. This was not meant to be. He would never want her anyway, considering his attitude towards "consorting with aliens".

Despite her determination to leave it alone, to forget about him, she spent half the night warding off fantasies that begged to be entertained. Well... no one said this would be easy.

.

And it only got harder every day.

Dukat, thankfully, never returned after his little stunt with the Pah-wraith and closing the wormhole*, as he failed to deliver upon his promises to the Dominion about reopening it, so she was safe. Instead, she had to worry about Damar, as he was on a downward spiral since becoming the leader of Cardassia.

Every time he was late for work she was the one checking on him, noticing just how often he spent the night at the palace instead of going home to his family. The bottle of kanar hardly ever left his hand. A sour expression rested on his face, his sense of humor was numb and the constant inebriation dulled his otherwise sharp wit.

They went back to their old hang-out schedule, but it was not the same. Lunch was fine, but by the time her shift ended, he was usually too drunk to pay much attention to what she was saying. He was a pleasant drunk, at least to her, but it was near impossible to have a decent conversation with him. His unfocused eyes kept wandering around the room, his hands automatically pouring more kanar into his glass.

As weeks went by, it was getting rarer to find him awake and at his post in the morning. Nyran had to go to his quarters, wake him up and help him fight off the hang-over just to get thrown out of there as soon as he was lucid enough to realise how embarrassed he felt about it. Instead of going for lunch he went for a bottle, making it challenging to talk to him at any time of day. Pointing it out only ever made him drink more to numb the shame, so she stopped. Pretending everything was peachy was not solving the problem, either, but at least it was not making it worse.

Some evenings she had to pull him from behind his desk barely awake, so he would not fall asleep there. She led him to his bed, helped him out of his armor, let him fall onto the sheets in his bodysuit and covered him with a blanket. Sometimes she left a bucket at the side of his bed, just in case. She would then stay for a minute or two and watch him sleep, as that was the only time he looked peaceful lately.