Episode 1: I Think I Love Him

Episode 1: Change

[Jay's POV]

It's been weeks since I last saw the team. To say I miss them was beyond an understatement. I miss Kai's attitude and burning devotion to always being the best version of himself, and Lloyd's gentle and caring self,  always looking out for us even when he needed someone to look out for him. I miss Nya and how she would always laugh at my jokes despite them never actually being funny, and I miss Sensei Wu. I missed his impact on my life and his constant presence as a father figure to us all. And then theres Zane. I definitely miss Zane the most of all. I missed the way he cooked and cleaned daily, the way he kept the team together life glue whenever there was something wrong, or the way he always knew what to say to cheer anyone up. He was more than a partner to me, he was a brother, and I needed a brother more than anything right now.

But don't let me forget about Cole.

If I had to describe him, the first few terms that come to mind would be pathetic, homewrecker, dirtclod and my personal favourite, a dissapointment. Out of everyone available, why did he have to choose her? He knew how much I loved Nya and yet didnt hesitate to look at her with the same look in his eyes as i had when i saw her. He knew every thought, feeling and opinion I had on her, and yet, they run off together just because some robot told her theyre compatible. Part of me is happy I don't have to see him anymore, we all know I'd lose my calm the moment I see his face, although, I feel idiotic to still be thinking about him. Why can't he leave my mind? I'm supposed to be mourning the loss of Zane. I still can't wrap my head around it. My brother, gone. Lost somewhere in eternal darkness.

Out of all the coping methods I could have chosen to get over this, why did I decide to host a game show? Everyone else had split up and gone to do greater things, and I'm trapped in a fake world of lights, cameras and 'action'.

God I'm so stupid. That's Jay Walker for you, irrationally thinking like always. I guess it was a good distraction for a while, people loved it and I got along with most workers and contestants on set. It was a good way to clear my mind from thinking about the past events, but WHY did I decide to make a obstacle course to find Ninjago's next top ninja? Why cant I let go of what I used to be? It's crushing me daily, waking up alone. Not even the comfort of my parents could begin to patch the emptiness I felt without my daily routines.

And i just say action and go pretend strangers are ninja for no other reason than to prove they can't do what I can. To prove they don't know what they're doing.

They don't know how long it took to get where I was. The countless sleepless nights and hours of exhaustion, week long missions with little to no food or water. The constant injuries and worse, the constant mental toll it takes. And dont forget abiut having to save the city from bad guys who police cant even seem to aprehend after weve defeated them. Always being told something you're doing isn't right or upto expectations, or that your power isnt good enoughand my personal favourit, being trained to use the power in a way youre body can barely handle. At least the people on this show enjoy themselves.

As I'm wrapping up my show, I make my way to my dressing room. My eyes glance to the photo frame on my desk. I can't help but reminisce on how good life used to be. Before we lost Zane. Before we split up. Before Cole took the only thing I really cared about. Tears threaten to fall from my eyes, and I let them go for a bit, but I quickly get myself together. No point getting upset over the past. It's not like I could do anything to change it.