La Mariposa | Camilo M. X OC

Chapter 3 | Mariposa Sin Alas

*―☆―*  Así es como se sintío  *―☆―*

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   Anza could feel her heart beat starting to race. Anxiously awaiting what her Papá was going to say, but fearing only the worst. This moment resembled the exact moment her mamí had left them. Her head started to fill with bad thoughts and she tried very hard to fight them and remember her Papá was not her Mamí.

"Anza... tu Mamí.... she..." Anza's papá started but his words were beginning to trouble him as he searched for the right way to say anything.

"Papá que paso con Mamí" (translation: Dad what happened with mom) Anza spoke her voice struggling to not shake and show her nerves

" She wants me to go to her. She wants me to go and work on us. She knows she messed up and now she wants to make it right with me." Papá said as he rubbed his head trying to stay together in front of you.

"Why ! Papá she is just gonna leave you again. She never cared ! If she cared she wouldn't have left you. She wouldn't have left us ! She only wants your money ! She doesn't love you. I do Papá! Are you gonna choose her over me !" Anza raised her voice still sounding soft but clearly upset. She didn't know how to control her emotions all she was thinking is how her Mamí left her and him without a good reason and didn't try to reach out.

"Anza you are not a little girl anymore. You are a beautiful young women. Your mom loved me. She just didn't know how to love you." Papà had spoke not meaning for those words to come out so harsh.

Anza froze at his words. She was the reason Mamí left. She made her Papá struggle. He wasn't unloved she was. Anza swallowed hard before speaking back trying her best to swallow the tears and pain coming up. The trauma she had packed away was bursting out and with new ones packed on top. "Why couldn't she ! What didn't i do that was enough ! I was only nine ! What was I suppose to do ! So you are just gonna leave and pretend I don't need you !"

" Now that's enough Anza! I gave up a lot for you do not act like I didn't make a sacrifice for you ! I love you so much mi Mariposa but you aren't mine to keep watching you are nineteen and it's time I get to have a life too. Your mom she was wrong for leaving I understand that. But I love her. Just like I love you. I don't need your permission to go to her. But you needed to know." Her papá had raised his voice he was hurt and confused and just as much in pain. His pain was different Anza could sense that. It wasn't that he was leaving his daughter it was that he had to stand up and lose the love of his life.

"That's where you go every day isn't it... You go and see her ! Well fine ! Go leave ! I should be use to it right ! Y ya terminé. You won't be Papá and she won't be Mamí. I know I troubled you ! I know I made it hard ! But I tried ! I was there taking care of you too ! Pero ya ! It's fine. You get your things and you leave and never step foot in this town again. You and Mamí go live your life and be happy again. But don't you dare bring another child in just to abandon it. No body needs that pain especially from two selfish beings!" Anza had snapped. Her emotions were running everywhere. Tears were streaming down her face and she threw the cupcake she made for her Papá at the wall. " Nothing would have ever been enough for you could it..."

Nothing could be done. She was broken. It was as if someone came unexpectedly and clipped her wings. Only it wasn't unexpected because it was always her parents. Those meant to protect her and love her. She could feel it physically how broken her heart just was. Anza blamed her self initially but now she was blaming herself even more. She should have just left like Mamí told her when she was nine. She should have made it easy she kept thinking.