Is this what you wanted? | Book 1 in the Wanted series

He's what?

Kalani

It's been 2 weeks.

2 weeks since I blacked out.

2 weeks since I rember anything after that.

And 2 weeks after I seen Silas.

After I blacked out, I woke up in Silas's home. My ears rang. And I let out a large cry looking for Silas. No one heard from him.

Roman,Harlow,Hayden and avavia helped me look. I cant fucking find him.

I'm sitting on the stool, I'm the kitchen. Waiting.

Waiting for him to walk through the door.

Waiting.

But he never came.

He fucking promised me. I let out a sob and dig my nails into my skin. When I feel pain I stop and look at my legs, bloody and ripped. I slowly wipe my eyes and make my way to the sink.

When all of sudden I hear the door open.

I look up and rush towards the door. But my shoulders tense when I see sage. I rush to her and pull her into a hug.

" Are you okay " I croak out. I feel her head nod and my heart stops.

I look up and smile at her, " So uh where's Silas. I've been looking for him. Where is he? I'm going to kill him for leaving and not coming- "

Sage cuts me off with teary eyes, " Lani.. I'm so sorry"

I stare at her and laugh, " What do u mean sorry? Where's Silas? " She sobs harder and falls to the floor, " He's-dead lani.. I tried to sa-save him b-but he didn't make it. The Russian put out a Bo- "

I cancel out everything she's saying and I run to the bathroom. I throw up, and my head starts to hurt even harder.

I cry.

And cry.

And cry.

" Lani are u feeling okay? " I shake with sobs and nod my head.

I'm fine.

" come on let's get you cleaned up " I nod my head and stand up. trying on the shower, Lani goes to Silas's room and looks at me, " Do u have any clothes here? " I shake my head no and cry silently.

He's dead.

I cant..

What am I supposed to fucking do now.

He promised me he would come back.

And he didn't.

I didn't realize Sage was calling my name until she put clothes in my face, " Here's a shirt from out his draw and shorts. Put these on and I'll be out there okay? " I nod and she looks at me with more tears in her eyes. She doesn't look like Sage anymore.

She doesn't look like her.

Her eyes are bloodshot red, her hair is disheveled, her clothes are full of blood and her shoulders slump. She lost someone she loved and cherished. The only family left in her life.

I miss him. I just got him back.

So how the hell did I loose him that fast? I didn't even get to say I love u.

I regret pushing him away.

I regret not using all the time we had together because of the arguments and the fights.

Maybe if I hadn't left out the night because I was so angry demanding answers... maybe those men wouldn't have followed me.

Maybe I wouldn't be in this shit.

And maybe Silas would be here.

2 hours later.

I'm laying in bed.. Silas's bed. Sage went to sleep not to long ago and I've been asleep ever since. It's 2am and I sitting up staring at the wall.

I can't somehow get myself to go home.. I don't know why.. Maybe it's because I wanna be there for Sage... shes only 16.. or maybe it's because I'm trying to fill a void or trying to fucking convince myself that maybe he'll walk through that door.

But I cant.

And he doesn't.

I threw up again and again. I don't know what the fucks wrong? My head hurts every fucking second of the day.

I feel so fucking lost.

Empty.

I ran out of tears. I cant cry anymore. Laying back down I close my eyes releasing a shaky breath. Clutching his shirt, sleep takes over me.