johnlock oneshots

Snoring

A loud noise distubed my thinking. It sounded like some crossover between a dragon and a chainsaw. At first, I tried to ignore it, but after ten minutes of incessant snoring, I just couldn't focus enough to keep my mind palace afloat.

I tried whistling, clicking my tongue, calling him, but nothing worked. It began to be really irritating. Barely moving, I groped around my seat and finally found an apple core. As another snore emanated from John, I threw it on him.

The apple core landed on his shoulder, bouncing on it and then onto the floor. My flatmate, certainly dead-tired by his day at the clinic, didn't even stir. I rolled my eyes. Stupid clinic. I groped again around my chair, as the snoring continued. It was almost worse than before.

My fingers closed on my phone. Well, it'll do it. I threw the little shiny object on my sleeping friend. Again, bouncing against him -the thigh this time- and then on the floor. A single hitched snore answered me.

That was highly annoying.

This continued for a while, diverse objects -a pair of earphones, a munched cookie, three pillows, one of my shoes, a cup of tea with said tea and a brick (no, I have no idea how this brick happened to be there)- piling up around and on him.

I was about to give up -I mean, I tried everything I could except thowing my friend himself on the couch, but this would imply to stand up, which I absolutely didn't want to do- when I felt something under my fingertips.

I snickered like a four-year-old child up to no good. I raised my arm, aimed, and threw the thing on my flatmate. It hit him right in the stomach, and John finally woke up at the high squeal the dog's toy produced. He jumped on his feet, walking on the cookie and slipping in the puddle of tea, loosing his balance and falling right on me.

He looked up, a confused glare on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off before he could speak a word: "You were snoring. That was annoying. Don't do it again." I closed my eyes. Now that the silence was back, I could go back to my mind palace. I focused on my thoughts, erasing the sound of John's protestations. I could now picture the main entry of my mind palace. I grabbed the doorknob and entered it.

A few hours later, when I closed the same door behind me as I exited my mind palace, I realised I was totally buried under a pile of heteroclit objects, so much that I couldn't even move. On the chair in front of me -John's, of course- was pinned a note: "Well done, sucker!"

I couldn't help but burst in a fit of laughter, unable to stop myself. This shook everything off of me, in a big clattering noise. He got me.