Living Lifelessly

Chapter 14

                             Arthur

"Get up, you're released on bail,"

Unexpected things happen in life, always. Just like what just happened with me.

Here I thought that I'd be living the rest of my life in this hell, and then one day out of nowhere someone shows up and bail me out.

But my hopes once again got crushed when I came to know that that someone was not my family. Turned out that he was the father of one of my patients. He tried to repay me by doing this. And surprisingly, he told me that he believes in me and not the media which confused me a little, like did I even try explaining myself to you.

To be honest, I expected myself to be super happy now that I am out of jail but I feel even more suffocated in this fresh air.

Nothing feels good, it's like I escaped one jail and entered another one.

It's because our heart knows, it knows everything. It always tells you when something is not right but you mind never listens.

If I thought I was in hell in there then I was wrong. Little did I know that my whole world has ended out here.

One by one, everything came crashing over me.

My mother has already died, two years ago, of cancer. She was admitted to the hospital but her cancer was already in fourth stage so she couldn't be saved.

My father also passed away, a few months after mom's death, of a sudden heart attack.

My father's business and all of our property was no more ours, it's Paul's now.

My girlfriend, Lisa, is married now, not to just any guy but to my best friend Justin.

As if it wasn't enough, I was also fired from the hospital after they cancelled my internship because apparently I was doing illegal organ trafficking.

I want to cry, and scream but nothing came out. It's like my mind is numb and my heart has stopped beating in my chest.

I kneel on the ground, burying my head in my hands.

Everything is over.

That's the reward of doing no harm Doctor Arthur Hart. How stupid of me to think that I could fix everything.

The next three days, I spent in my apartment, lying in my bed like a dead body. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't talk.

Start counting backwards surgeon. Your time has started.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future, dear surgeon.

I know death doesn't scare you, now you'll see how I make this life even scarier for you.

So he surely wasn't joking, he didn't fail in making me scared of my own life. He shattered my entire soul and there was no healing to it.

As time passed by, I started gaining my senses back. After about two weeks, I decided that I've done enough mourning.

I get out of my bed, dress up nicely and drive to Lisa's house.

I've decided to change myself just like everything around me has changed. Today, I bury the old Dr. Hart and start this new phase of my life.

No more crying, no mourning over what's happened, and most importantly no more being nice to people.

As soon as I ring the bell, Lisa opens the door.

"Arthur what-"

"Get out of my way," I harshly push her aside and make my way inside.

"Justin, come out here you fucking coward." I yell as Justin comes out of his room in complete shock.

"Arthur what the hell is this?"

He walks towards me, looking intimidated.

"You tell me what the hell is this?" I grab his collar and punch him. He falls on the floor as blood oozes out of his nose.

"This is what you are, a coward, a mother fucker, moron who deserves to rot in hell."

I spit on his face while he tries to stop his bleeding nose with his hand.

"Stop Arthur please, stop."

Lisa shouts from behind. I turn my attention to her as she stands there crying.

"And you, It's really funny that you couldn't understand me in all these years we spent together. I hope you too rot in hell with your bastard husband."

She tries to open her mouth but then closes it back.

I leave the house after feeling less frustrated than before. I guess the decision of being not so nice to people really helped.

I was hurting from inside but I was pretending to be okay from outside and that is how I am probably gonna spend the rest of my life.

I guess life gets a lot easier when you stop caring about people and their feelings. But then again, was there still anyone left in my life who deserves my care and love.

I used to have a beautiful family, mom, dad and Sean, who are no more with me.

I used to have a loving girlfriend who ditched me for my fuckboy best friend.

Now here I am, all alone and forgotten. It really hurts.

I've decided to leave this country. After all there's nothing left here for me now.

I go home and pack all of my stuff after booking a flight to Sydney.

After making sure everything's done, I gather my things but as I am about to leave my eyes land on our family picture hanging on the wall.

I am sorry Sean, I know that I failed this time but I promise I won't let Jim break me. I will come back, stronger than I've ever been.