daybreak - b. barnes

motherly

(T'challa saved y/n's life, thats why they are best friends, ofc Natasha, Wanda and Pepper are too but T'challa is the one she spends a lot of time with...just context for you)

•••

"Push y/n!" The midwife tells me before I try pushing again as hard as I can. I let out a yell as Bucky and T'challa follow in suit, yelling with me encouraging me while holding both of my hands.

"Waaaahh! Waaaaah!" I hear moments later reminding me what I was doing this for. My baby is here.

"Congratulations Mrs. Barnes, you have a beautiful baby girl." The midwife says making me let out a laugh and Bucky start crying. T'challa kisses my forehead and whispers congratulations and all types of praises on my ear.

"Mr. Barnes? Would you like to cut the cord?" Bucky frantically nods his head and kisses my cheek before he walks over to greet the baby.

"What's her name?" The lady with the birth certificate asks, popping her pen out.

I'm out a breath so I wave over to Bucky who brings our daughter to me for skin to skin.

"Nalani Rebecca Barnes." He says with his finger against the babies cheek, to which he does not realize is too cold for a newborn.

The baby doesn't like that so much and starts to cry, so I bounce her a little while shushing her. Bucky has a look of shock on his face after the baby only takes a good minute to stop crying and to coo at me.

T'challa stands up with his grin and announces he is going to go get the team and show them where we are located.

Bucky nods, not taking his eyes off me and Nalani.

"James...whats wrong? Do you want me to get the doctor for you?" I move to sit up before Bucky runs over and pushes me down lightly with my shoulders, watching his own movement's to make sure he doesn't hit Nalani with his metal arm.

He stands back and sighs.

"I'm not going to be a good father to this baby y/n. Not even a hour later, I made her cry." He gets tears to well up in his eyes. "This fucking metal arm and me is not good enough to be a father."

It's silent for a while before I take a deep breath and think.

"Do you think I would make a good mother Bucky? We are both avengers, yet we all have parts of our past's we don't like. Natasha hates coming from the red room, Loki hates what happened in new york, Sam hates losing his friend during a fight, Wanda hates working for hydra and Ultron willingly, you hate becoming the winter soldier and I hate that I burned down half of a state because of my fathers decision to leave me as a child." I wipe the tears in my eyes and Bucky turns his back towards me, getting ready to leave the room, and out my life.

"I hate myself just as much as you do...but I chose to have this baby. I worked hard to get here and I know this baby will love me. One day, this baby will learn what happened and when she does, I'm not going to hide it. This baby needs to be taught, loved, disciplined, cared for and appreciated. We have come all this way and I need you here with me. I need you to help me Bucky."

This baby is going to love you...Because I do. I love you too much but I'm not scared to admit it. I will love you all seconds, minutes, and hours of each day. And Nalani will love you every day, every week, every month, every year, and every decade that you live. Just please...don't leave me moya lyubov'." I finish with tears streaming down my face and Nalani cooing at him to come back. (my love)

He takes a deep breath before turning around, facing me with his red-shot eyes and heartbreaking tears streaming down his jaw. His body shakes with sorrow and he runs back to the bed, crawling into my side.

"I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry, please y/n i'm sorry." He begs as sobs rake throw his entire body, making it hard for him to breath.

I pull him closer to me and move Nalani to my left arm so he doesn't hit her by accident. I shush him and rub his back while rocking him as much as I can.

At one point, he starts to hyperventilate and I panic as he almost sends himself into a panic attack. I quickly push him up and (gently) shoves Nalani in his hand. She immediately starts laughing at him and he starts to slowly calm down and regulate himself.

I watch in awe and pull out my phone, taking a picture of the two and making it my wallpaper before I look back.

Nalani's eyes are wide open and blue, just like his and she coos at him. He takes a deep breath and puts his metal finger to move the blanket, until she grabs his finger and yanks it towards her mouth.

He immediately chuckles but pulls his hand away.

That doesn't last long before Nalani starts crying and he looks at me panicked. I chuckle at him and I put his finger back towards her and she repeats her previous action, sucking on his metal pointer finger.

"See? You can be motherly." I say while resting my head on his shoulder. Nalani lets out a adorable small yawn and snuggles into Bucky's arm. He turns his head to lay it on top of mine and kisses it.

"You mean fatherly?" He chuckles as Nalani drifts off to sleep with her tight small hands still wrapped on his finger

"Nope." I pop the 'p' and close my eyes. "I meant motherly."