Keep Driving // James Cook x OC

t h r e e

Why'd you only call we when you're high
- Arctic Monkeys
1:05━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━5:19
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I feel like no one is listening to me, I'm talking and saying things but no one is processing them. So I lash out instead, I do drugs, I drink alcohol and I fuck girls. But I'm trying to better that from now.

I slop out of bed and have a shower before pulling
on some random clothes. I can hear the bloke in the room next to me shagging some bird and I try to block it out. I stared at myself through the condensation on my bathroom mirror. "Fuck it." I say to myself. I was unsure what I was actually going to do with myself today, If I wasn't going to drink or do drugs, then what was there to do.
I rummage around my back pocket to search for my wallet. I pull it out and flick through the cash and count the coins in there. £206.21. Not too bad.

I decide to go clothes shopping, I'd never done it before, my mom just sends me loads of random shit in the post and I just wear them. She doesn't send me clothes anymore now though, just a wad of cash every other week.

Before I knew it I was stood outside Bristol shopping centre. I had no idea where to go or what to get. I huff. I walk inside and go into some random shop called 'next'. I ended up buying a couple of random jumpers and a belt, then I hear some one call my name. I turn around and see a brunette girl with pink bits in her hair.
"Mae, Alright?" I say, nodding at her.
"Didn't strike you as the type
to go clothes shopping." She laughs.
"Ah- well it's my first time actually." I chuckle. I felt slightly uncomfortable. I never do things myself. I never think of consequences and I'm impulsive, of course I don't go clothes shopping.
"Need help?" She says, smiling up at me, her green eyes meeting my blue ones.
I want to say no, but my mouth moves before I can think further.
"Bit of company never hurt the cookie monster!" I say, flinging my arm around her "Where to next darlin'?" I ask.
"H&M." She says.

She helped me pick out a couple of t-shirt's and a jacket, and even some boxers.
"Class shopping trip that!" I say, nodding at
the bags.
She turned her head to the side and smiled at me. This caught me off guard. I smirk at her.
"What is it James?" She smirked.
I laugh at this hysterically.
She carried on walking and I followed.
"Hang on a minute, where the fuck do you think you're going?" I call after her. She turns around and blows a kiss at me.
"Bye, James."

****

I go back to my place and dump my stuff on the floor
before turning back around to head to Freddie's. Hopefully it won't be awkward and JJ is there too.

"What do you think of Mae then?" JJ said to Freddie, who shrugged his shoulders. JJ then looked over at me.
"Cool girl." I say dragging on my cig.
JJ nodded.
"Cool girl....cool girl...co-" he said awkwardly into the silence, tapping his fingers on his legs before he was cut off by Freddie.
"Alright J."
"So, how's you and Eff?" JJ said.
Freddie cleared his throat and looked at me, I look away from him, jaw clenched.
"Good, I took her out yesterday."
"Ah, I see." JJ said.
We had never been like this, silent and struggling for conversation. It was because of a girl. Who knew females were this much trouble? I try and scramble for an idea of what to do that doesn't involve drugs, drinking and girls but ultimately give up.
"Wanna go to the pub?" I say.
"I thought you weren't drinking anymore?" Said Freddie.
I shrug my shoulders.
"A couple can't hurt I guess."

*******

Before we knew it we were having the time of our lives in the pub. Well, before Freddie called Effy and invited her over. I couldn't see why she had to come. Surely Freddie would know how it would make me feel after all this fucking time. Fuck it.
"Can I have another three pints please?" I ask the lady behind the bar and wack a tenner on the side.
"No I don't want another," Said JJ.
I laugh hysterically. "No, they're for me mate!" I chuckle.
"But Cook-"
"Yeah, yeah...I know, give it a rest mate," I say. Downing the pint the lady had placed in front of me.

Everyone watched as I downed another two. Everyone was cheering me on. Then I saw Effy walk in.
"Right...I'm off." I say.  Glaring at her and then at Freddie.
"Awww!" Everyone moaned.
"Yeah yeah..." I say. 
I fist bump JJ and Freddie and awkwardly nod at Effy who stared up at me with her stupid
big blue eyes.

I swung my jacket on as I kicked the door open and began walking. I decided to crash at Naomi's that night, so I begin to walk there. 

When I arrived, I began to throw pebbles at her window. "Oi! Noams!" I shout up at her window.  I see her blinds twitch. I stop and wait for her to come downstairs to open the door.

Eventually she emerges with a spotty pink dressing down on. 
"What now Cook?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Can I crash here?" I say. Now feeling to drunkness kick in.
"Yeah." She says, stepping aside to let me in.

She put the kettle
on for me whilst I sit on the sofa. I tried to lie down but it felt like I was on a rollercoaster as I had drank.
"Fuck man." I whisper to myself. What am I actually doing. I huff.
"S'up with you?" Naomi said, walking
into the room and handing me a cup of tea.
"Mate, there's fucking fuck all to do when you're trying to stay off drugs, booze and lasses." I say, taking a sip of my tea and burning my tongue on it.
"Get a part-time job, actually go to college, try sticking with one nice girl...there's loads of things to do Cook." She says.
"Noami babes, you've got me twisted, good things don't happen for me, I can't do any of that!" I laugh.
Naomi gave me a really serious look.
"Stop chasing bad things and you'll attract something good." She said. 
"I tried with Eff..." I said quietly.
"Well try again! you can't give up after one try." She said.
"But she proper broke me. I actually thought, for a moment, that I'd found a girl I could stick with, and have ki- anyways, no one loves me, I'm just stupid James Cook who does coke, shags a bird then knocks out random blokes."
"Oh Cook, you're so much more than that!" Naomi said, rubbing my back.
"Well, what do you see me as?"
She didn't say anything.
"See!" I hiss. "I just want someone to fucking love me, no one wants to stick with me - as soon as they find someone better, they move on, how come everyone gets to upgrade and I get left
behind? actually, I already know the answer, it's because I'm shit." I spit.
Naomi doesn't say anything.
"I'm gonna end up in jail or dead, someone will kill me or I'll do it when I'm 40 odd and I've ended up like my dad and his shitty, piss-stinking boat and his crap Liam Gallagher hair cut." I carry on.
Naomi nodded.
I run my hands through my hair.
"I've lost my boys, I've lost Eff, I've lost my mum, my
dad fucked off, I don't have a home, no one fucking likes me apart from you...sometimes, and once I leave college I'm either going to be a criminal or homeless." I say,  feeling a lump forming in my throat.
"Oh Cook!" Naomi said, squeezing my thigh.
"You know what the-" I stop talking a sec to fight back the tears forming in my eyes. "You know what the maddest thing is? Eff hurt...STILL hurts the most, I really thought someone actually loved me."