My Life At Hogwarts

Putting The Fun In Funeral

I woke up crying. I had a dream where Lisa and I were living together and she looked after me. It all felt so real. I felt arms wrap around my waist and looked to see that I had woken up Blaise.

"Sorry for waking you up." I whispered.

"Don't be sorry. I was already awake. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Did you want to have breakfast before we left?" He asked.

I shook my head. I knew that if I did eat something, it wouldn't stay down for long. He held me closer. I stayed in his arms for a while before I stood up and decided to get dressed. I put on the dress and shoes and felt like crying again.

"Hey. You're okay. I'm here for you and I'm going to be here all day." Blaise said, hugging me.

I nodded and sat on the bed to watch him get dressed in a black suit. Despite the reason for it, I couldn't help but think he looked handsome.

I smoothed his collar down and he smiled at me. He put on his shoes and we left the room. We walked downstairs and I stopped in front of the fireplace.

"Flowers. I don't have any flowers." I said.

"We'll get some on the way." Blaise said, steering me out of the common room.

We walked across the castle and to the great hall where Professor McGonagall stood waiting. She smiled at me and led me inside the hall. The only people inside were the twins.

She led us over to a portkey lying on a table. We all held onto it and Blaise held onto my waist. I closed my eyes as the great hall dissappeared and a green hill appeared instead.

"I forgot my money, but I need to buy flowers." I told McGonagall.

She nodded and we made our way to the florist. I looked around helplessly. I didn't know what their favourite flowers were.

"Hey. Don't worry. Here what about these forget-me-nots?" Blaise asked, coming to my rescue.

I nodded and picked up two bouquets, along with two bouquets of white roses. McGonagall paid and we left the shop. Blaise held half of the flowers, so he could hold my hand.

We walked to the church and entered it. I looked around and saw Paul the lawyer inside. I nearly cried at how empty the church was. We didn't even fill up the front row of chairs.

"Do you want to stand up and say a few words?" McGonagall asked me.

I handed the flowers to Blaise and stood up. I walked to the stage at the front of the room. I stopped next to the open caskets and cried. They both looked so peaceful.

"Um. Lisa and Tessie looked after me and the other children in the house when we were being abused, physically, emotionally and sexually. Lisa has been more of a mother to me than any of the foster parents I've had. She's the reason that I'm alive today, because of her, my life had a purpose. She helped me become who I am today. And I don't think she will ever know how much I owe her and how grateful I am."

I broke off and looked down at the open caskets, tears welling up in my eyes.

"She didn't deserve to die the way she did. She deserved to die peacefully of old age. Not being stabbed multiple times in her own bed. She's been through too much to die like that. They both have. I just- some part of me hates them both for dying, even though I know they wouldn't have been able to prevent it. I just feel so selfish for wanting them to still be here so I'm not alone."

I broke down sobbing heavily. I just missed them both so much and I haven't even buried them yet.

"When I was struggling so much with seeing through to the next day, it was Lisa that helped me. She told me to think about what I would be missing, whether it would be man made or created. It was Tessie's idea to focus on the sun rising each day, because no matter what life throws at me, and no matter how much abuse I go through, the sun will always rise. So I focused on seeing the sun rise each day." I said, wiping my tears away.