"Look. Someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen, they'll look at you like you're everything they've been waiting for your whole life"
Ngiti lang isinagot ko kay Clyde. Andto sya sa kwarto nag pinag tutulugan ko dito sa resort. Sinabi ko sa kanya lahat dahil sa namimilit din sya nung nakasalubong nya kong umiiyak. What he told me was right, he's always right! All that he says was right, and it always hit me!
Ngumiti din sya sakin at hinawi yung mga buhok kong tumatakip sa mukha ko.
"And maybe that someone, is right here in front of you"
Napatawa ako ng mahina sa sinabi nya. Hindi ko alam kung pinapatawa nya lang ako o ano, pero wala ako sa mood ngayon para alamin.
"Yan! Mas bagay sayo kapag nakangiti! Its okay, just cry Aika. Cry until you're tired, cry as hard as you want. And when you're done, make sure that you will ever cry for the same reason again"
I'm thankful na andito si Clyde. I really need someone to talk to right now. Sinuklay suklay ni Clyde yung buhok ko gamit yung mga kamay nya. Nakakaantok! I love it when someone is playing with my hair.
"Can I sleep? Inaantok ako sa ginagawa mo."
Tanong ko kay Clyde.
"Oh. Ofcourse. Labas muna ko. Good night! And one more thing, one day you'll wake up and be alright. Everything will be alright, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. One day Aika. I promise"
Naglakad na palayo si Clyde pero bumalik sya bigla at hinalikan ako sa ulo sabay takbo palabas. Hahabulin ko sana para awayin pero kagaya nga ng sinabi ko wala ako sa mood. Ito lang naman gusto kong gawin tuwing malungkot ako, matulog.
I just lie in my bed, napangiti ako tuwing naalala ko yung lahat ng efforts ni Clyde. I wish it was Clyde that I first met before Jay. Clyde is the sweetest! Sana lang kaya kong bigyan sya ng chance, natatakot pa kasi akong magtiwala dahil sa mga nangyari at nangyayari!
I remember when Jay mean nothing to me. I wasn't aware of his existence, but now he's the reason why I have this bags in my eyes, the reason why I cant sleep well at night, the reason why Im up till morning thinking, thinking about him. It's bizarre how person mean nothing to you but in a matter of hours, days and weeks they could mean the world to you, even if it kills and broke you inside.
I already know that this was coming, but in times like this you will never be ready of how it feels.
I have this problem with myself, I always over-think about everything which makes me stress and create more problems that wasn't there in the first place.
I just remember the day when I was hoping for him to love me back. Sometimes the things you hope for are the things that can also destroy you in the end. I can still feel the pain, I still feel so broke inside.
How could I ever fix myself when I don't know where and when to start?
Kung hindi sana sya lumipat dito, magiging okay na ko. Pero lagi talagang syang umeepal at pumapapel sa buhay ko! Hindi ko parin talaga alam hanggang ngayon kung ano yung buong kwento, pero wala na kong pake, tapos na eh! Hindi ko na yun maibabalik pa at wala naman talaga akong balak na ibalik pa!
Nagulat lang talaga ako ng sabihin nya na sya yung tumatawag. Umamin din saya na nagiguilty sya, so totoo nga na siraulo sya! Dapat pala sinapak ko sya kanina eh, kaso masyado akong naguluhan at nagulat sa nangyari at sa mga sinabi nya.
Hays. I need to sleep para mabawasan at mawala kahit saglit yubg mga pag-iisip ko.
Kinabukasan tinext ako ni Clyde na pupuntahan daw nya ako para tulungan ako sa mga gamit ko. Ngayon na kasi kami uuwi, mabuti nalang talaga nakapag papicture ako ng maraming marami!
"Aika"
May kumakatok na sa pinto, si Clyde na yun sigurado ako.
Nakangiti pa ko habang papalapit sa pinto. Pero napawi agad yung ngiti ko ng makita ko yung itsura ng taong nasa harap ko, ang dami nyang pasa sa mukha, pumutok dim yung labi nya. Anong nangyari sa lalaking to?
