The Unwanted Promise (New Cover, Same Story)

19. You Can't Run Forever

The thought of the two knowing who I was and am to each of them scared me. Bee and I never talked about the possibility of seeing our ex's. With the situation I was in, I was beside myself, worrying over the fact of them talking. I was sure the topic of Bee being married now would come up, then they would talk about who he married and from there I knew my name would pop up. I couldn’t help but wonder, would Noah even remember who I am?

My insides screamed and rolled around in terror. How could this be happening? How could this world be so small that my ex is my husbands cousin? Or maybe this was another joke in my face, cause it would be funny if I was not involved in the situation.

I wanted to run away and hide, but I knew I couldn't. If I did, I would be admitting defeat of what happened. Talking myself, I tried to make sense of what was going on. There was one thing I knew for sure, I wouldn't allow myself to go through what I already did. He wouldn't be able to hurt me the way he did in the past. This is my house and if and when he saw me, he wouldn't be able to belittle me, I wouldn't let him.

"Luna are you okay?” Chia said, bringing out of my thoughts, “Do we need to go to another room for awhile. You're looking worse than you did a minute ago."

My hands were sweating and my face hot. Even my legs were reacting, shaking violently, without control. I stood up and nodded. Without even having to get consent all my sisters stands up and follows me. Leading, I take them into the small library across the room. Once the door was closed behind us, I fall down in the corner of pillows I had there.  Covering my face, I go into a fetal position.

"No, we can't let her do that," I hear Tina say from behind me, "She can't go back into her dark phase. Sit her up."

Chia and Tina grabs for me. I go up whining. "Why are you guys doing this to me? I just want to crawl up and lay here for a second."

"No," Tina said, "The last time you did, you were gone for a year. You cannot do this. You can cry and vent your feelings, but I agreed with our sisters already that we wouldn't let you do this again."

And just like that, my determination to stay calm was thrown out the window. I couldn't do it anymore. Having lied to myself for the last few years, I was angry how it was coming out now. I was so furious at Noah. He broke me down and even when he was not important to me anymore, he was still making an impact on my life. Everything in my life was one big joke right after another.

"Why?" I cried out, "Why is this happening to me? Why now?"

"Luna," Chia said, "If I knew the answer, no doubt I would tell you. All I can say is, this is life for us. The world is random and all we can do is deal with what is thrown at us. You can either sit in here and deal with Bee's worry later, or go out there and face the facts. I know it's not going to be easy either way, but we have to make choices we don't like."

Sophie comes over to me, sitting next to me, "I'm sorry our family screwed you up so bad."

I couldn't help but chuckle through my tears, wiping away my tears, I hug the girl. "Not you and Chia though. You guys are what makes all this shit worth it."

"Woah," Chia said, all shocked, "Luna is swearing. You must be mad, we never hear you swear."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I swear when I'm mad, I can't help it. Let's get back out there before people start noticing that we are missing."

"Are you going to be okay?" Tina asks.

"I'll be fine. I'm just going to have to avoid him the best I can."

When we return back to the livingroom, things had changed. The girls weren't in  circle anymore. Everyone had scattered into their own group. I surveyed the room. My brothers were still with Bee, and across the room Noah was with a bunch of guys. Chia spots Matt alone and we agree to go and stand with him.