the one that got away | seongjoong (✓)

• XXII •

things really felt exactly like old times following the news that yunho and mingi had brought. seonghwa hadn't been to work in two days, as he could barely get hongjoong out of bed. at this point, it wasn't because he was exhausted, but because his thoughts were eating him away. seonghwa knew that all he could do was comfort him at this point.

unfortunately, seonghwa couldn't afford any more days off. jungwoo had worked doubles to cover him for two days, and he didn't want the older to quit or feel used because of this.

"hey... joong?"

"hm?"

"i'm sorry, but i have to go to work today... do you want to come with me and hang out in my office?"

"c-could i?"

"of course you can, love..."

hongjoong nodded, nuzzling his head into seonghwa's chest. seonghwa began to play with the boy's hair, then gently kissed his forehead.

"w-what time do you go in?"

"i have to be in at 4. is that okay?"

"mhmm... i-i'll be ready."

"okay..." seonghwa whispered.

seonghwa held hongjoong protectively, completely understanding how the boy was feeling. this wasn't the first time he had seen hongjoong so vulnerable, but he wished he had the power to make it his last. to seonghwa, hongjoong didn't deserve any of the bad in his life, he didn't deserve to have such dark thoughts so often.

"i'm gonna make us some breakfast, love. do you want french toast today?"

"oh... i-i'm not hungry."

"french toast it is. you can't not eat, though."

"but—"

"ah, ah... if you don't want your own plate that's okay, joongie. you can share with me."

hongjoong sighed and nodded, then seonghwa got up, pressing a kiss to hongjoong's forehead before he left the room. he texted jungwoo to let him know he'd be in at 4 and that he appreciated the boy covering him for the past two days, as well as that he'd be sure to repay him in the near future.

he began to hum while he made their breakfast, making a bigger portion than he normally would for himself so that hongjoong could have as much as he liked. he knew the boy would be shy about it, but he also knew there was no way that hongjoong wasn't hungry.

he was at the stove, about to put the first pieces of french toast in the frying pan, when he felt hongjoong wrap his arms around him from behind, the younger resting his head against seonghwa's back.

"hi, love."

"hi," he whispered.

"how are you doing, hm?"

"tired... kind of sad. i don't know, i'm just... i don't know."

"it's okay that you don't know, joong."

"i haven't felt like this in years... yeah my depression has gotten bad, but i haven't felt this weighed down since—" the boy paused in realization.

"since when? it's okay to tell me, bug."

"since we broke up five years ago," hongjoong muttered.

"ah, i see... you know, i was pretty upset when we broke up, whether you believe it or not."

"oh yeah?"

"yeosang was the one who pushed me to get my shit together. i didn't want to do anything for weeks after we broke up, i was devastated."

"devastation... t-that's what i'm feeling."

"and it's okay that you are."

hongjoong simply nodded, closing his eyes as he held onto seonghwa, feeling calm for a moment. seonghwa continued to cook, soon turning off the burner and turning around. he hugged hongjoong tightly, kissing the top of the boy's head, then hongjoong looked up at him.

"breakfast is ready. can you grab us each some water?"

hongjoong nodded and grabbed a couple of glasses to fill while seonghwa grabbed utensils and brought his food to the table. soon, the two were sitting together at the table, hongjoong holding his glass of water with both hands to make up for the empty space in front of him. seonghwa quickly cut a piece of french toast, then put it in front of hongjoong.

"but you haven't even—"

"hongjoong-ah, just take a bite. i know you're not hungry but i want to know if you like it."

hongjoong nodded before taking the french toast, chewing slowly.

"mmm," he whispered.

seonghwa smiled a bit before beginning to eat, feeding hongjoong every so often. soon, hongjoong was wanting more, and seonghwa put his plate in front of him.

"here, you finish this."

"b-but—"

"don't worry, i ate enough. i made extra knowing you were probably hungrier than you said you were."

hongjoong blushed and nodded, slowly beginning to eat. seonghwa just smiled and watched the boy for a moment, then beginning to get up.

hongjoong quickly turned to look at the older, getting a bit nervous that maybe he had done something wrong.

"i'll be back, i'm going to clean up in the kitchen. just call out my name if you need me, yeah?"

the younger nodded, allowing seonghwa to continue to the kitchen, where he gathered the dirty dishes and began to wash them. he decided that today he would test the waters and see if calling the boy more pet names than just "love" still affected hongjoong, and if it did, he wanted to ask the younger on a date sometime soon. he wondered how it would go, and if they would ever formally talk about when things went sideways in their previous relationship.

meanwhile at the table, hongjoong finished his food, listening to the older humming in the kitchen. it was extremely comforting for him to hear, as his house was usually silent. soon, he got up and walked over to where seonghwa stood, ready to wash the plate they had shared, but the older quickly grabbed the plate and began to wash it instead.

"hwa..." hongjoong whined.

"there's my joongie," seonghwa said with a chuckle.

"i was gonna do it!"

"and i was already washing dishes."

"but i was the last one to use this dish!"

"you're so stubborn, it's cute."

"shut up," hongjoong whined again, now pouting.

"look at you, pouting all cute like that."

"shhh..."

"how can i be quiet when you're so cute?"

hongjoong hid his face, getting shy. seonghwa smiled brightly at the boy's reaction, then the two made their way to hongjoong's room after seonghwa was finished washing the dishes. hongjoong got back into bed quickly, and seonghwa sat at the edge of the bed for a moment, looking at the younger.

"i'm gonna go shower... will you be okay in here, love?"

"yes... i promise."

"alright... come get me if you need anything, angel."

hongjoong felt his cheeks heating up as he nodded, seonghwa smiling small before gathering his clothes and leaving the room. he was quick to get in the shower, wanting to be by hongjoong's side again as soon as he possibly could. meanwhile, hongjoong was still a bit flustered, surprised by the use of another pet name.

he was beginning to get impatient, wanting to move forward in their new, more matured relationship that appeared to be budding.

little did he know what seonghwa had in store for him.

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currently struggling as i try to figure out an outfit for ateez giggles