Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Eighteen

October 30th 2020

"So why are you here Ash?" Mason mumbled, as he crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes following the younger James sibling on the pitch, as he ran past the other children, before shooting the ball into the keepers hands. "Close Ke, keep pushing" Mason shouted, as Ashley smiled at her best friend, she was always thankful that Mason took time out of his day to come and see her brother train when he could.

"I fancied coming and watching him" Ashley whispered, as she hugged her coat closer to her chest, usually she would jump at the chance to spend time with her brother, she didn't get time to do it with the hectic career she had chosen, but she also would do anything for her brother in a heartbeat.

"That doesn't answer my question, I know you like spending time with your brother, but recently your cooped up in the studio or your house with him" Mason mumbled, as Ashley raised an eyebrow at him. "If you've got something to say Mase, say it" Ashley mumbled, as Mason sighed to himself.

"I don't get why you're marrying him" Mason mumbled. "Is this where you confess your love for me because I wouldn't ever hurt Mia in that way Mase" Ashley teased, as Mason smirked but shook his head. "No, it's not, I love her with everything I've got" Mason whispered, as Ashley nodded her head smiling.

"I feel like you can't talk Mase, you adore Mia and you haven't even spoke about getting married" Ashley whispered as Mason shook his head laughing. "I love Mia with everything, but we're not stupid enough to rush into marriage" Mason muttered, before he clasped his hand over his mouth, realising the words he had spoken.

"Does that make Jack and Ambs stupid then? Or just me?" Ashley whispered, as she tore her eyes away from her brown eyed best friend, looking at her brother, as he shoots another shot, hitting the top bins on the net, before he knee slides, the rest of the team shouting around him and praising him for the shot.

"I didn't mean it like that" Mason mumbled, as Ashley nodded her head. "How did you mean it then Mase? I'm all ears" Ashley mumbled, as Mason shook his head.
"I love you, I really do Ash, but sometimes I think you're just blind or ignorant to how other people see your relationship" Mason mumbled, as Ashley scoffed, shaking her head. "My relationship is my business" Ashley muttered.

"You don't get it Ashley" Mason stated, as he turned to face her, Ashley silently wincing at him using her full first name, he never called it her to her face unless he was being serious, and she knew right now he was.

"You don't get it because you don't see it the way other people do" Mason muttered. "I've known you since we was what, seven? eight?" Mason mumbled, as Ashley smiled to herself, remembering how they met.

"You used to dream so big, just like me, you wanted to sell out Wembley for a tour, I wanted to sell it out for football" Mason smiled. "And you was on the road to selling out stadiums, having platinum cds, god you could of had everything" Mason muttered, as Ashley raised a questioning eyebrow to him.

"But you chose to take a break to sort things out with someone who fucks you over ten times, time and time again, I've said from the beginning I don't like him, I tolerate him for you, but day by day it gets so much harder to tolerate him when he makes you so fucking miserable" Mason muttered.

"Yano, after you left the engagement party, Ben stated that he could sense a change in the atmosphere when he walked in, Ben doesn't even know half the story and he can see how bad it is" Mason muttered.

"I'm sorry, but why do I care about Bens opinion?" Ashley muttered, as Mason shook his head. "It's the principle Ash, his someone who doesn't even know you and he can sense somethings off" Mason mumbled.

"I'm sorry but I'm not listening to this, I come to get away from everything for a moment and you're just reminding me on reasons why I'm a failure at life" Ashley muttered, as she tried her hardest to blink away the tears.

"Wait, Ash, I didn't mean it like that" Mason mumbled, as Ashley shook her head. "I'm gonna go for a walk, I'll be back to pick him up" Ashley whispered, as she walked away from Mason, finding a bench close to the pitch but not too close, sitting cross legged on the bench, staring at the gravel on the floor, analysing a puddle.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ben smiled, as Ashley looked up at the Chelsea Midfielder. "Mase said someone was helping out but he didn't say who" Ashley mumbled as Ben looked over at her, taking in her appearance.

How she let her hair fall naturally around her face, her natural curls instead of the straight hair he had seen over her Instagram. How her face was bare from make up, or the bare minimum, not to mention her joggers and oversized jumper that was falling out from her coat at the bottom.

"What are you staring at?" Ashley mumbled, as Ben laughed to himself, before sitting down next to her, running a hand through his hair that wasn't held in place by a pot of hair gel. "I don't know but it's staring back" Ben smirked, as Ashley gave a small laugh.

"Do you ever feel like everyone's judging you?" Ashley whispered, as Ben nodded his head. "Every match day, every training session, every Instagram post" Ben stated, as Ashley shook her head. "I mean yeah, but I mean friends wise, like people you'd kill for, people you trust with everything" Ashley mumbled, as Ben sighed to himself.

"I think you're thinking too much into it" Ben stated. "I think they love you, and they want what's best for you, but you're more bothered about the fact they tell you the truth or what you can't see, or don't want to see instead of thinking about what they're saying" Ben stated, as Ashley looked at him, motioning her hand to indicate that she wanted him to continue.

"I mean, I think all you're taking in is the fact they don't like him for whatever reason, not the actual reason they don't like him" Ben continued. "Mase always speaks to highly of you, but maybe you need to hear him out because of you're really as unhappy as he makes you out to be, maybe you need to think of the reasoning rather than hate the person who's telling you the truth" Ben whispered. "Which will always be hard to hear, especially if you don't want to believe it, but at the end of the day you have to think of yourself, because in the end, there's only you who knows how you really feel" Ben smiled, as Ashley nodded her head, taking in Bens words.

"Now give us a hug, can't have you sat her looking miserable" Ben laughed as he stood up from the bench, Ashley's eyes running over him. "How charming" Ashley mumbled, as Ben smirked at her as she stood up from the bench. "Always, you'll love it" Ben smiled, as his hands wrapped around the smaller girls torso, as Ben smiled to himself, letting the warm feeling fill his body.

"This is nice" Ben smiled to himself. "Did you really just say this is nice?" Ashley laughed, as she looked up at him from his chest. "Let's not ruin the moment shall we" Ben laughed, as he hugged her tighter, leaving him thinking;
How could this feel so right, but be so wrong.