Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Sixty Seven.

November 25th 2020

"What you doing out here all alone?" Ben smiled, as he leant against the conservatory doorframe, looking over at Ashley who was dressed in some baggy joggers and a crop top, an oversized jacket hanging from her shoulder as she sipped on a cup of coffee, staring out into the fields that surrounded Jack and Ambers house, the slight gusts of wind brushing through her natural curls.

"It's just so quiet, so peaceful" Ashley whispered in between sips of her drink, as Ben nodded his head slowly, not wanting to interrupt her thought process.

"That doesn't tell me why you're out here, all alone" Ben whispered, as he moved slightly and leant his back against the wall, as Ashley moved to the small wall that separated the walkway from the garden and sat on it, dangling her legs over the edge, as Ben took that as an invitation to join him.

"Sometimes it's just nice to step back from everything" Ashley stated, giving Ben a small smile, as he nodded his head, agreeing with what she was saying. Sometimes with the buzz of the lifestyle they both lived, not matter how different it was nice to step back and admire it all, even if it was just during a moment of peace and quiet.

"Does that have anything to do with your Instagram post?" Ben whispered, as Ashley looked at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "I think karma comes back around" Ashley stated, as Ben nodded his head.

"Thank you for understanding the whole situation" Ashley whispered, as Ben looked at her, a soft smile on his lips as he nodded his head. "You don't have to thank me" Ben smiled. "I get the situation, to some extent anyway" Ben whispered, as Ashley took her turn at raising her eyebrows at him.

"Back when I was first starting football, the agents always wanted you out with big names, to be seen with big names it puts you on the map don't it" Ben whispered. "And on more than on occasion I was made to be seen with people who would be rumoured as my partner or something along the lines of it" Ben mumbled, as Ashley nodded her head.

"In the words of my song, if I knew back then what I know now" Ashley mumbled, as Ben nodded his head, his hand resting behind Ashley's waist in a lazy way, not evident that it was there, but she could feel the soft touch of his hand.

"I really like you Ashy" Ben whispered, as he turned to look at her. "And if things were different, I'd know I'd be pestering you for a date" Ben smiled, as Ashley looked at him with a smile on her face. "I don't know it's your charm, or your good looks, but I know that somewhere deep down I'd go on a date with you too" Ashley smiled, as Ben smiled wider. "You think I'm good looking then" Ben smirked.

"Way to ruin the moment Benji" Ashley mumbled, as she heard Mason and Mia running and shouting about in the house, Ambers voice following their noise, reminding them not to break anything.

"I could kiss you right now" Ben whispered, as arm tightened around Ashley's waist, Ben watching as her grip grew tighter on the up she was holding.

"I would say do it, but we both know we can't keep going on this way" Ashley whispered. "I swore I'd never cheat on anyone, and hear I am, wishing that this wasn't so secret" Ashley whispered. "I'd shout it from the rooftop if I was happier" Ashley smiled, as Ben nodded his head smiling at her. "I'd shout it from the rooftops too" Ben smiled, as his lips grew dangerously close to Ashley's.

"Ben" Ashley whispered. "Just one last one? One to remember?" Ben whispered, as his arm that was draped around her waist pushed the strands of hair that had fell around her face behind her ear. "But it has to be the last one" Ashley whispered.

"But I promise you, when everything's over and done, I get the first date" Ben smiled, as he pressed his lips to Ashley's, his hand dancing through her hair, holding her whilst his lips moved against hers.

And although Ashley believed in love, she didn't believe in sparks, or fireworks during kisses, she didn't believe in stolen moments, but she did believe that there was someone for everyone, whether it was fate was for each person to decide.
But she knew in that moment that she was growing feelings for Ben, even if she already knew it but was too scared to admit it, she knew.
She knew she would never get enough of this feeling, the feeling of his lips on hers, the feeling of his hand in her hair, the way he made her feel when he was around, it was all becoming clear to her, and everything else faded away slowly.

"I just wish we didn't have to keep this a secret" Ben whispered, as his lips left Ashley's, and she looked down at the ground, threading her own fingers through her hair.

"We're not a secret Ben, because there isn't an us, there can't be an us" Ashley whispered, as she began to stand up from the wall she had been sat on. "I believe that one day there could be an us" Ben smiled.

Despite the circumstances, he remained positive. It didn't matter what was in the way, he knew he wanted her, he knew it would always be her he wanted.

"I'm still getting married Ben, granted it's been pushed back, but it'll still happen" Ashley breathed, as she stood by the door, looking at him, the sadness in her eyes flooding through, causing Ben to want to just hug her and hold her close.

"I can always object, stand up and state that you can't marry him" Ben smiled, as Ashley smiled to herself, a small laugh leaving her lips.

"You're the best Benji, but somethings are just out of control" Ashley whispered, the smile falling from her face, as Mason and Mia come rolling through the garden on a trolly.

"Oh for fuck sake" Ben laughed, as Ashley smiled in his direction, before she disappeared into the house.