Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Forty One.

Private Messages.

Jacko✌🏻
So, are we gonna talk about what you said the other night

Chilly🌶
There's not really a lot to say bro
She's still with him
She's still marrying him
I don't wanna talk about it anymore

Jacko✌🏻
Nah, I reckon she likes ya

Chilly🌶
Not enough to leave him

Jacko✌🏻
Well I have an idea..

Chilly🌶
Do not set me up with any of your other friends
I don't want them
Not again
Never

Jacko✌🏻
I wasn't going too..
But even Emily?

Chilly🌶
Even Emily.
I just want her.
I want Ashy.

Jacko✌🏻
Wow
You really do like her dont ya
Read 07:37

~~~~

November 15th 2020

"Your head seems all over the place Ash, are you okay?" Leah mumbled, as she sat down next to the younger girl, offering her a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, just in my head" Ashley smiled back, as she continued to scribble phrases and words in her notebook.

"Whatcha working on? New song?" Skye smiled, as she sat down next to Ashley on the other side of Leah. "It's nothing special, just thought I'd try clear my head" Ashley whispered, but continued to cross and re-write things. "Let's hear it then" Leah smiled, as Ashley shook her head. "Let's wait till it's finished" Ashley smiled, as she closed her notebook, finally happy with some of the wording.

As you drive me to my house, I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down, you  and I both have to hide

~~~~

Meanwhile, as Ashley wrote her feelings on a piece of paper, and continued to brave a smile on her face with her band mates, singing and dancing around to the music that blared through the speakers, Ben continued to contemplate dirtier tackles on his team mates, kicking the ball from yards away into the bins of the training net, Mason standing watching with a frown on his face.

"What's going on with you?" Mason muttered, as he put a hand on Bens arm, encouraging him to stop for a minute, before Ben shook his head.

"Look, I know somethings going on, you haven't been the same since the holiday, what happened?" Mason muttered, as he pulled Ben to one side of the pitch, forcing his friend to look at him as Ben shrugged his shoulders. "Holiday blues ain't it" Ben muttered, as he finally stopped for a moment, letting out a deep breath and picking up the water bottle, taking a large gulp.

"Did something happen with you and Ash?" Mason whispered, as Bens head shot up from the ground, looking at his brunette haired friend. "What makes you say that?" Ben mumbled, as Mason smirked to himself.

"Saw the looks you'd give her bro, I used to give Mia the same look" Mason mumbled. "I still do" Mason smiled. "That look of I want you, I'll do anything to have you, to see you smile" Mason finished, as Ben sighed to himself. "I'll be fine" Ben mumbled, as Mason raised an eyebrow at his friend.

"You never said if anything happened" Mason smirked, as Ben shook his head. "Nothing happened, nothing could, she's getting married" Ben mumbled, he had heard them words so many times over the last few days.

All he had seen through Instagram was news articles, posts and stories all circling the fact that Ashley James and Jordan Williams, and how there was weeks left until the wedding, how the happy couple had enjoyed a secret escape away before the big happy day.

But Ben knew it was all lies, he knew half of the truth, the bride wasn't happy, and Ben himself wouldn't be happy until he knew that Ashley was.

~~~

I would wait for you, I would wait all night, just the thought of you before I close my eyes, it's too late I can't take anymore

Ashley sat in her living room, Jordan being away at a dancing event, but she had claimed she didn't feel well and that she needed an early night, and for once Jordan didn't fight for her to come, he didn't even ring to say he wouldn't attend the event, he just left her.

Ashley had decided that she was going to play the guitar, her laptop sitting on the side, filming her to her Instagram followers, something she used to do so often, something that made her happy, seeing everyone's comments and reactions.

And I can't let it go, and I can't forget, all that I'm left holding is my regret, and it feels like we could have had it all

Ashley strummed on the guitar, smiling to herself at how delicate the strings sounded, how she felt every word she sang. Her mind flashing back to Mykonos and all the feelings that she felt there, how happy she was with her friends, how happy she was with Ben.

"You're still my last call" Ashley sang, as she smiled at the camera, ending the live with nothing more to say, as her doorbell rang, Ashley sighing to herself, as she looked at the time.

It would most likely be Mason on his way round after training, he usually did a check in a couple of times a week when Ashley had fell quiet on social media, but she didn't expect to see the blue eyed defender at her front door.

"Ben?" Ashley whispered, as he smiled, looking over her, dressed in some joggers and a baggy t-shirt, her glasses on her face, her natural hair wavy around her face, her face natural, not a trace of make up to be seen.

"What are you doing here?" Ashley whispered, as Ben smiled to himself, smiling down at the girl, entranced by her.

"I think I love you" Ben whispered. "I can't let you marry him" Ben whispered, as Ashley sighed to herself, moving from the doorframe to allow him into her house. "Ben you don't love me, you love the fact you can't have me" Ashley whispered, as Ben scoffed, shaking his head. "Okay, maybe love is a little hasty" Ben mumbled. "But I love everything about you" Ben mumbled, as Ashley shook her bed smiling. "Please, just give me a chance" Ben whispered. "One day, one day just me and you" Ben whispered. "I can't do that, I'm literally spending most of my time with Jordan" Ashley mumbled.

But she watched as Ben got down onto his knees in his chelsea tracksuit, holding his hands together with a smile on his face.

"Ashley James, please will you do me the honour in giving me a day of your life" Ben smiled, as Ashley giggled to herself. "A day? That's all?" Ashley whispered, as Ben nodded his head. "And your cover story is that you're going to the fair for Ambers birthday" Ben smiled, as Ashley nodded her head.

"Okay Benji, I shall give you a day of my time, but then this has to be left in the past" Ashley whispered as Ben stood up from the floor smiling at her. "Can I just ask one more thing?" Ben whispered, as Ashley nodded her head, Ben standing inches away from her.

But there was no more words spoken, just his lips on hers, moving perfectly, reminding her of the butterflies she had felt days ago in Mykonos.

"Is he coming home tonight?" Ben whispered, as Ashley shook her head. "Then can I stay the night?" Ben whispered, as his lips danced across her cheek. "But then this has to stop Ben" Ashley whispered.

But both of them knew, this was never going to be the end.