Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

One Hundred and Eight.

December 31st 2020

"I need a drink" Ashley stated, as she dragged Mia and Amber towards the bar, the boys laughing at how eager they were to make the room spin.

"Do you think we're going to end up marrying alcoholics?" Mason chuckled, as he nursed the drink in his hand, as Jack shook his head. "It's not often they let their hair down is it" Jack smirked, as he watched as Amber shook her hips to the beat of the song that was playing through the venue, as she leant over the bar slightly.

"But if she keeps dancing like that, she isn't going to make it to the countdown" Jack mumbled, as Mason laughed at him. "They'll be the death of us for sure" Ben smirked, as he watched Ashley from afar.

"So, does that mean you're finally going to go after her?" Mason questioned, as Ben looked away from Ashley smiling at Mason. "I'd like to, but I've got to remember she's just come out of a relationship whether that be real or fake" Ben smiled. "I think you'll be together by the end of the year" Mason smirked, as Jack laughed. "Nah I give it to Valentine's Day, the girls love that stuff" Jack smiled, as Ben shook his head. "She's not like other girls" Ben smiled.

It wasn't long until the girls were lost on the dance floor, moving against each other, their bodies moving to the beat of the music as their mouths sung the words.

Let me photograph you in this light, in case it is the last time, that we might be exactly like we were, before we realised

It wasn't long till Ben had his armed wrapped around Ashley's waist, as the couple of the room danced together, the group of friends still very much in a circle as the girls sang like it was their concert, and their being ballad song playing, as the boys looked at each other amused.

"Can I steal you for a moment?" Ben questioned, as Ashley turned around to face him, smiling at him as she nodded her head, and both of them walked to the balcony area of the venue, admiring the view of London below them.

But it wasn't the view that Ben cared to see, it wasn't the party that he wanted to be at, it was the female that was constantly on her mind, it was the way her smile made his chest feel warm, or her laughter made him feel like he was at home.

"How are you feeling?" Ben questioned, as Ashley nodded her head. No one had actually asked her how she was feeling, she didn't think it mattered how she felt, she had done what she needed to do to make sure she was happy, and to her that's all that mattered.

"Ashy?" Ben smiled, pulling Ashley from her own little world. "Yeah?" Ashley spoke softly, as Ben shook his head laughing at the girl. "I asked you how was you feeling and you zoned out" Ben smiled, as Ashley rolled her eyes playfully.

"I'm okay" Ashley smiled, as Ben wrapped his arms around her waist. "You're not, so don't lie to me" Ben warned, it was playful but there was still a serious tone in his voice.

"Everything's just a bit all over the place if I'm honest, I'm everywhere mentally" Ashley stated, as Ben nodded his head before resting it on her shoulder from behind, as Ashley slowly swayed to the beat of the song.

We were scared of getting old, it made us restless, it was just like a movie, it was just like a song

Ashley hummed to the beat of the song as Ben held her close, hoping she would continue with the conversation by herself, he didn't want to push her. He wanted Ashley to feel safe with him, he didn't want her to feel like she had done previously with Jordan.

"It's just all up in the air you know?" Ashley stated, as her eyes gazed out across the view. "I mean, I suppose I should look at moving out at some point" Ashley chuckled. "And find a job" Ashley continued. "It's funny though isn't it, how everything was fake, but it all feels so real, like a normal break up" Ashley stated, as she felt her chest tighten, and the emotion seep through her body.

"It's normal to feel something Ashy" Ben stated, as he placed a kiss to her shoulder, holding her a little closer to let her know that he was there for her.

"I have no right to feel upset or hurt, I've cheated on him" Ashley whispered, as the tears lined her eyes. "That doesn't mean you can't feel anything" Ben stated, as Ashley shook her head. "I'm an emotional mess" Ashley stated, as Ben shook his head, pulling Ashley into his chest. "For years of your life you spent it with him, it's normal to feel something, even if there's no feelings there" Ben stated, as Ashley let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. "I just wish this wasn't the way you was starting the new year" Ben chuckled, as Ashley flipped him off.

"Here's to a better year" Ben smiled, as the countdown to midnight began around them. "I promise, this year is going to be one of the best you've had" Ben stated, as Ashley looked up at him, moving a strand of hair from her face behind her ear as she caught Bens gaze.

"You're single, I'm single, it's a new year" Ben teased with a smile, as Ashley nodded at him smiling, as he gaze briefly cast around the room, finding her friends in the heat of the room, holding each other close, as she grabbed Bens hand, tugging him along as the countdown neared twenty.

"Ash, slow down you'll pull my arm out the socket in a minute" Ben chuckled, as Ashley finally stood next to Mason and Mia, who were next to Jack and Amber as the count down hit ten.

"There you are" Mia smiled, as Amber gave Ashley a thumbs up, Ashley nodding her head to identify that she was fine.

"Happy New Year!" The room boomed with clapping and cheering, as Ben spun Ashley around, titling her face up to his. "Happy New Year Beautiful" Ben smiled. "Happy New Year Benji" Ashley smiled back.
"Oh for fuck sake just kiss already" Mason mumbled, as Jack cheered, watching as Ben placed his lips to Ashley's, both of them laughing into the kiss.

"Here's to a new year" Amber smiled, as the group of friends began to dance, embracing each other in hugs and laughing about the previous year, making plans towards the new year.
"Here's to us" Ashley smiled, as Ben nodded his head. "Here's to us" Ben smiled.