Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Ninety Four.

December 21st 2020

"Happy Birthday!" Mason shouted, as Ben walked into the changing rooms of Cobham, a smile from ear to ear on his face as Ben shook his head smiling. "Thanks guys" Ben smiled humbled that his team mates had gone through this much effort to make his birthday special whilst they were training.

"I've got a great day lined up for us" Mason smirked, as Ben sent him a quizzical look, as Tammy and Reece shrugged their shoulders, but smiled at Ben none the less. "Cmon then, don't just stand there" Mason smirked, as he pulled up the snood above his mouth, watching as Ben pulled his own gloves on, and with a nod of Masons head, they were walking over to the training academy building.

"What are we doing here?" Ben questioned, as he looked over the children running around, but despite being over energetic and probably excited for Christmas, they were still working hard. "Figured you'd want to see her first" Mason smirked, as Bens eyes scanned the crowd of parents, but his eyes landing on the brunette haired female, smiling wide.
"Did Kian make it into the academy?" Ben beamed, as Mason laughed. "His on a trial, but fingers crossed yeah" Mason smiled, as he watched one of his best friends walk over to the other best friend.
"I wish they'd just get together already" Mason smirked.

"Happy Birthday Benji" Ashley smiled, as Ben wrapped his arms around the smaller girl, hugging her and holding her closer to him. "Thanks Ashy" Ben smiled. "Much planned?" Ashley asked, as her eyes drifted to her brother quickly before focusing back on the Chelsea midfielder. "Bowling, you're coming right?" Ben smiled, as Ashley nodded her head. "I'm at the studio till early evening, but I'll be there" Ashley smiled, before Mason called Ben, informing him that it was time to go and start training. "I guess I'll see you later then" Ben smiled, before he walked away, a smile from ear to ear, he couldn't be more happier, and neither could the brunette girl who was smiling from ear to ear, watching him walk away.

~~~~~

"Nah, that's a foul that is" Jack stated, his arms crossed, as Declan shook his head. "Explain a foul to me in bowling then Jack" Declan smirked, as he shook his head laughing. "Nah, that ain't how you bowl" Jack muttered, before he sat back down, sulking in his own world.

"Cmon then Mase" Mia smiled, as Mason wrapped his arms around Mia, pretending to help her bowl, but really just holding her close, as Ashley walked through the door smiling at her friends.

"Anyone would think Mase can't put Mia down" Ashley smiled, as Mia laughed at her. "Put him down Mia, you don't know where his been" Ben chuckled, as Mason rolled his eyes before he flipped his friend off. "Anyway, anyone want a drink?" Ashley smiled, as all of the group nodded. "I'll come help" Ben smiled, before anyone could ask a question, Ben and Amber were at the bar.

"Anyone would think you've been avoiding me" Ben smiled, as he leaned against the bar, looking down at Ashley as she sighed to herself. "I haven't been ignoring you in particular, it's just been busy" Ashley replied, giving him a small smile.

"I know, I'm just teasing you" Ben smiled, before he grabbed the tray of drinks, walking with Ashley back over to the bowling area. "It's been ages since I've bowled" Ashley giggled, as she photobombed Mia and Amber who were taking photos with Mase and Declan, who moaned at her for photobombing, but smiled either way when they all took a photo together.

"Cmon I'll help you" Ben smiled, as he dragged Ashley to the bowing part, laughing at how big the shoes looked on her feet. "Stop it" Ashley whined laughing, as Ben held his hands up defensively before he placed a hand on her waist, and held her elbow, helping her throw the ball down the lane, a perfect strike happening, both of the young adults oblivious to their friends taking photos and videos of them.

"So have we found a new lover" Lauren smiled, as Ashley shook her head smiling, as Mia, Amber, Lauren and Ashley sat on the high seats as the boys engaged in a game of table football, taking it a whole lot more seriously than they needed to.

"I haven't no" Ashley stated, as she looked at the half empty glass in her hand, before she took a sip of it. "Anyone can see how much you like each other though babe" Amber smiled, as Ashley nodded her head. "I wish things were different" Ashley stated, as the door opened, followed by some laughing, as all of the girls looked over.

"Oh, you can meet Bens sister, that's Alex" Mia smiled, as she waved politely over to the girls. "Nah, why is Joanna here?" Amber muttered, as she flicked her hair over her shoulder, looking at Mia with a raised eyebrow, as Mia shrugged her shoulders.

"Who's Joanna?" Ashley questioned, but she didn't need to be told, as she watched the brown haired female walk over to the football table, watching as she threw her arms around Ben, placing a lipsticked kiss to his cheek, as Bens eyes darted over to Ashley, who sat there, a hard face, trying to hide any emotion that was sure to show on her face.

"Oh" Ashley whispered, as Amber and Mia gave each other a look, before they tugged Ashley over to the bar, knowing that they would all need a new glass of something alcoholic.

"So, she's a girlfriend?" Ashley questioned, as Mia looked at Amber, who nodded her head softly, as Mia took a breath, before letting the words fall from her mouth.

"They had split up, I promise you now, Ben wouldn't lead you on, he isn't like that" Mia stated, as Ashley nodded her head, fiddling with the straw in her drink. "Maybe I led him on, I mean, I get married next week" Ashley muttered, as Amber shook her head. "You didn't lead anyone on, you've made it very clear to him how you feel about him, let alone the situation you're in" Amber stated.

But the words never sunk in to Ashley's head.
She felt as if she had led Ben on, she knew that at the end of it all she would still have to get married to someone she didn't love, she knew that Ben wouldn't wait around forever to watch that happen, despite the feelings they both held for each other.

"I need to get going anyway, I've got a busy day tomorrow" Ashley smiled, whether it was a forced smile or not, everyone believed it as she smiled.
"Promise me you won't let this change anything" Mia stated, as Ashley nodded her head. "I promise" Ashley smiled, before she made her rounds, pulling everyone into a hug, stating her goodbyes, before she finally got to Ben.

"Leaving already?" Ben mumbled, as Ashley gave him a small smile, nodding her head. "I've got a big day tomorrow, and you've got a match as well" Ashley smiled, as Ben nodded his head. "It's not what it looks like Ash" Ben stated, but Ashley shook her head, a smile on her face. "You don't need to explain, it's okay Ben, everything's okay" Ashley smiled, but on the inside she was dying.

"Ash, i still want you" Ben whispered, as he watched her walk away, kicking himself mentally, he didn't want this to be the last time he saw her before she was married, he didn't want this to be the last memory of him before she said 'I do'. But deep down he knew himself that this was always how it was going to end.

And nobody knows, I'm in love with someone's baby, I don't wanna hide us away, tell the world about the love we making