14. 'Those sweet, sweet memories' pt. 1

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 February 2022

Four weeks after 

Tobias [I swear you were not prepared :-)]

I have not seen Shai at ages... She haven't called, texted or anything. Also Natalie has been very quiet... When I have asked how her daughter is doing, she is not answering, just changes the topic. Caleb and I will be graduating from high school at summer. 

What's wrong with her... has something bad happened to her?? If yes then why no one has said anything? Is her anorexia getting worse, has her lungs collapsed... Why they are not letting me to see her anymore? Omg has she tried to hurt herself at once again??!! 

Last time I heard from her was the time when she asked the cigarettes. And that day she was acting quite normal at my point. What if I was totally wrong... 

Yesterday I tried call to her phone but answering machine just said 'Hey you have called for Beatrice Prior, I may not get into phone right now but when I do have time I will call back...' Well that was depressive shit... She always picked the phone right away when it showed the 'incoming call' so that's not like her. 

I have heard that she have got some new friends at the hospital... and that is amazing. I am happy for her. But I just wish that she also remember me, the one who always tried to be there for her. I know that Natalie found out her secret; smoking and drinking alcohol. But she is rude if she just stops to speaking for everyone. That is not normal behavior for her.

I am worried from her. What have I done, why I were not better friend for her. Why I did leave her alone, when she needed me the most. Why I were not brave for her. Why I still am afraid of my father, the monster who ruined my whole life. The monster I trusted the most. 

Couple days before Natalie was crying with Caleb at the Prior's living room, but I never found out why. They said that they got a call from hospital... someone have tried to jump away from roof. That was a large scandal at here Indiana. It was even shown at telly. The girl did have an oxygen tank. They were not able to save her. She died at hands of paramedics. The paramedic was crying. The girl did have pixie dark brown hair and she was so thin. Her name was not released. [A/N Which one it was, and why did she jump? 

Since that new report I have been an emotional shit... Natalie only cries and Caleb is not that happy positive person anymore. Some boy named Austin was speaking with them couple hours ago. Also he cried. Hey I think that he is at our high school. She told something from her girlfriend with cancer. He told like she was the whole life for him. He said that Tris  was his good friend, but then she changed. One day her whole personality changed. The day was the last she was 'mentally alive'. 





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