Courage: Dwayne Buenavides (Hectic Band # 1)

: Epilogue

Dwayne Buenavides's Pov:

Trigger warning! Mention of abortion.

Growing up i had a lot of lost competitions with my siblings, what can i do? They're always the best at their own game.

Ate Daisy and kuya Dean is really good at academic making our parents super proud of their smartness. Nag papataasan pa sila ng grades, Kuya drevy is good at soccer also making our parents proud, while i suck at everything i do in life.

I tried everything to please them, but i failed. I just disappoint them in every extra effort i did.

I groaned when i hear Arish's small voice, maliit na nga lang boses niya pero napaka ingay niya "Dwayne!" Marahas niyang katok sa gate namin.

Bumaba ako pinag buksan siya ng pinto "I bought you some chocolate and siomai, let's eat?" ngiti niya saakin at hinila ang braso ko papasok sa bahay namin.

I was quiet while eating the siomai napansin niya yun "Why are you extra quiet today?" I was trying to contain my tears nahalata niya yun kaya hinaplos niya ang braso ko, one touch from her made me feel safe. That's where my tears started rolling down my cheek, sunod sunod yun, hindi ko ma-control.

Agad naman siyang tumayo at niyakap ako.

"I'm never going to be enough for them" bulong ko, she hugged me tighter "Tell me, I'll listen" she pulled her chair and placed it infront of me, she held my hand and looked deep into my eyes.

The comfort that i felt in her presence made my cold heart melt. I told her everything, she just sat there and listened without a single judgement.

"Ok lang naman kahit wala kang talent dwayne, you did your best in everything and I'm so proud of you for trying" sabi ni Arish at niyakap ako, napaka kulit ng batang to, but she did help me a lot.

She made me feel that I'm not alone in this cruel world.

I tried so hard to find my talent, it took me a lot of trial and errors in a lot of activities, that's when i found out about e guitars, i tried my very best para matuto nun dahil iniisip nila na sinasayang ko lang ang pera nila dahil sa tinatawag nilang "bagong larong" nakita ko.

Nung natuto ako mag e guitar na sabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi to laro saakin. This is not just a hobby.

Playing guitar became my passion.

No one from my family supported me, but there is Arish. No matter how many sports i suck at she's still so proud of me.

"That's ok, Dwayne! It's just a stupid game anyway!" she said as she hugged me tight, i was really disappointed with myself, but here she is lighting up my mood.

She's been my support system all these years, if i feel down by my parents and siblings, she's always right there ready to listen and wipe my tears. I became dependent on her because she is all that i have.

Nakita niya na lahat sa buhay ko dahil mag kasama na kami sa araw araw.

Every song that i play, she listens. She's there to witness my performances, she supports every contest i join.

But we changed drastically when i caught feelings for Hanna. Ramdam ko na mahal niya ako more than friends hindi ko pinansin yun dahil ayaw kong masira ang friendship namin na binuo namin ng sobrang tagal.

But the friendship i protected was quickly ruined when she confessed her real feelings. I vividly remember how she cried because of my words, i know that i hurt her, but i couldn't take seeing her hoping and begging for my love.

Kasalanan ko kasi i couldn't love her back the way she wanted, back then. I just see her as my best friend.

Distancing from her was a dirty move even myself knew it, pero i just couldn't let her be friends with me knowing that she loves me.