Chubby Youtubers/Egos Oneshot, Book 3

3 Times Ethan felt self-conscious

A/n: I kinda changed this a small bit but I highly enjoyed writing this XD

1.

Second week of his sophomore year of high school Ethan was already tired the bag slung over his shoulder weigh heavily containing the bucket amount of homework spending long hours throughout the many nights doing his best to focus and finish his homework on time. School for Ethan was brutal he was trying his best putting all of his effort into studying yet most of his classes he was just barely passing majority of his teachers seemed to have a personal detestation towards him always finding the smallest excuses to give him detention from slightly wiggling in his seat to daydreaming and clicking away with his pen due to his ADHD, Ethan was grateful to have a small group of friends that are willing to help him keeping him afloat and distracted by joking around and joining together to complete homework.

Storming out of class Ethan kept his head low brown hair falling down covering his watery eyes hiding them from the judgement teenagers that filled the hallways. All around him he could hear the buzzing sounds of his peers chattering none stop and feeling like hundreds of eyes staring at him and judging him Ethan hunched his shoulders trying to make himself appear more smaller and picking up the pace as his vision begun to blur from the unshed tears that were threatening to spill, in his haste Ethan accidentally bumped into several people and normally he would apologise but instead remained quiet ignoring the bell ringing signalling the start of the next class as he pushed his way into the men's bathroom and hid himself away in the last stall at the far end locking the door.

"What's wrong with me? W-why do I keep on failing?" Ethan whispered his voice cracking slightly while his hand pulled out a sheet of paper from his pocket and begun to unfold it. Before his eyes Ethan stared at his math homework heartbreakingly looking at the big red F marked at the corner of the sheet, unable to stop himself Ethan let out a soft sob in the stall droplets of tears falling down dripping onto the sheet creating small wet spots while his back hit the wall and slid down sitting on the floor. Closing his eyes tightly Ethan remembered the past few days he put all of his effort studying pushing away his hobbies wanting to improve his grades and to make his parents proud but the paper in his hands screamed at him saying his efforts were a waste.

'Mister Nestor can you stop tapping your pencil against the table. Just because you don't care about your future it doesn't mean you can drag everyone down with you'

'Maybe if you stop being lazy and making excuses for yourself you could get a decent grade'

'Look Ethan... I tried everything in my power to help you but you constantly not paying attention in my class and with the grades you getting there's no hope for you in the future'

"I'm trying my best and yet... It's not good enough! Why am I like this?" Ethan croaked out dropping his marked homework onto the floor hiding his face in his knees and sobbed quietly refusing to leave the stall for the rest of the school day the fear of hearing the teachers putting him down and imaginings the disappointed looks on his parents faces made him cry harder.

'My best efforts aren't great! Why bother trying when I always fail? And am I good enough?' were the thoughts circling through Ethan's mind all throughout high school and afterwards.

2.

Ethan felt like he was on a rollercoaster full of ups and downs along the way within two years out of school he's not only working for his role model and inspiration Markiplier but travelled across the country living with Mark and Tyler. The experience was out of this world amazing and at the same time it felt like Ethan was living in a circus with everyday something chaotic was happening within the house from one time Mark had accidentally set his pants on fire running around the house screaming with Tyler holding a fire extinguisher chasing after his friend trying to put out the fire with Ethan sitting on the couch petting Chica and munching on popcorn watching the scene unfold in front of him to someone switching Mark's clothes with bigger ones making it look like the American was shrinking and getting smaller no one figured it was Ethan pulling the pranks.