Pain of the past

What do i do

It had been a week since Noah called chris daddy. We hadn't spoken about it, he didn't say it again but I knew we would have to have that conversation eventually.
Tonight we were having a bbq at chris mums. The one thing about the evans family they loved to party so I was so excited to be invited and the kids couldn't wait to go see everyone.
We pulled up to the house, I had cooked a few dishes, things I knew all the Evans's would love and I wanted to help out.
The kids went running to the back garden, they had a bouncy castle and they had missed miles, Ethan and Stella. Chris carried all the food into the kitchen. Lisa looked at me a wagged her finger
"You shouldn't have done all this. I bet that was hours in the kitchen"
"I didn't mind. I wanted to contribute"
She came over and hugged me, she then rested her hand on my huge bump and smiled.
"How are you?"
"Huge and uncomfortable"
"Your are not huge. You look beautiful" chris said as he placed the last few bits on the kitchen counter.
"Thank you. Lisa do you need any help?"
"Not a chance missy. Get your butt in the garden and go relax"
"But...."
"Chris!"
"Okay, we are going" he pulled me outside.
"Your mother is so stubborn"
"Says the most stubborn person I know"
"I'm not stubborn"
"You kind of are chick" Scotty called over to us
"Shut it Scotty"
"Ouch!" I laughed and he hugged me. The whole evans clan got up and hugged me and as always placed there hands on my bump. Most pregnant woman get annoyed at it but I didn't mind so much.
We all settled down and ate and talked it was so nice to be relaxing. Chris and scott were running around after all the kids, they were big kids them selves.
"So Nikki. How is everything?"
"Good. I'm trying to find a place of my own at the moment and I'm finding it difficult to find something in my price range"
"Your moving out of Chris's?"
"Trying too why?"
"I just thought you two would..."
"No Carly. It's not like that"
"But in school you..."
"I know but things change"
She nodded "do you want a drink?"
"Please"
She walked to the kitchen to get us a drink. While she was a way my phone started to ring I grabbed it "hello"
"Hello moon pie"
I nearly stopped breathing "Joe?"
"Yes it's me. I wanted to know how my beautiful children are"
"Are you joking? They are my children not yours"
"I miss you. Come home"
"No! Leave me alone Joe"
"You will come home Nikki otherwise I'll ruin your little friends career"
"What?"
"I know your with chris"
I start shaking how could he know that. Carly comes back out and goes to hand me my drink but can see the panic on my face. She shouts chris over.
Chris looks at me and kneels down beside me.
"Nik what is it?"
I don't say anything, he takes the phone away from me and says hello but no one answers. Chris hangs up.
"Hey" he places his hands on my face and makes me look at him. "Was that Joe?"
I nod and I feel the tears roll down my cheeks.
"What did he say?"
"He said.......he wants me to come home.....if I don't he is going to.......ruin your career"
"He is all talk okay"
I pull away from him "No chris, he isn't. This is why I shouldn't have dragged you into this"
"Nikki calm down okay" Carly was rubbing my back.
"I can't do this......not again.....I can't"
Jessica and Noah came running over "mummy what's wrong?"
Scott came and took them "mummy just needs to some adult time okay. Let's go play"
Carly walks me into the sitting room, I sit down on the couch trying to catch my breathe.
"Chris I have to go"
"No you don't."
"I'm not going to let him ruin you"
"Look at me" he pulls me chin to face him "look at me" my eyes settle on his
"He isn't going to do anything okay. Your not going anywhere. I'm not loosing you or the kids okay"
"But chris....."
"Nikki he is right. You can't let him win. You have the twins and this little one to think off" Lisa reaches over the sofa and places her hand on my bump. She smiles at me while stroking my hair.
Carly wipes my tears away and pulls me into a hug. They are right I can't let him win.
"Okay" I whisper. Chris squeezes my hand. I go to the bathroom to clean myself up and there is a knock at the door.
I open it and chris is stood there with ice cream, my favourite flavour that I had been craving since I got pregnant. I giggle "thank you"
"There she is" he takes me hand "come on we are about to sit round the fire and sing some songs"
"Oh god! If you sing it's going to rain" he clutches his chest and feigns his hurt "ouch"
I laugh and so does he. We make our way out to everyone and settle down round the fire. The twins at my feet. Listening to everyone singing camp fire songs.
"Mummy you sing"
"Oh god no Noah"
"Yeah mummy please"
Chris looks over at me, he has his guitar in hand. "Come on Nik it's been a while"
"Ok. What should I sing?"
"How about the song you sing to us at bedtime?"
"Okay"
I start to sing and chris joins in with the guitar

"I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
That every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes, He did
I think about the years I spent just passin' through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yeah
And now I'm just a-rollin' home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, mm, mm"

Everyone starts clapping. "Oh honey I forgot how amazing your voice is"
"Thank you Lisa"
The twins get up and give me a big hug "we love you mummy"
"I love you too"
Lisa was right I have my kids and I need to protect them. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure Joe never comes near them again.