Pain of the past

The trial

Today was joes trial and I was so scared. If he got off he would come for me and the kids and I don't have the strength to fight him.
I'm going alone today, Lisa is taking care of the kids and scott is working so I decided I would just go by myself. I'm just walking into the living room where Lisa has the kids and I see him. He is stood holding Rosie and talking to the twins.
"Chris?"
"Hey"
"What are you doing here?"
"You didn't really think I was going to let you do this by yourself did you?"
I smile at him "I didn't know if you had remembered"
"Of course I did, come on let's go"
I kiss the kids goodbye and we head to the car, the drive there is quiet. My knee is bobbing up and down, chris reaches over and places his hand on my knee. I look over and he smiles
"Are you okay?"
I shake my head "what if he gets off chris?"
"He won't"
"But what if he does. He could come after me and the kids and...."
"Hey, look at me"
I turn my head to face him "it's not going to happen. No matter what im going to protect you okay?"
I just nod, we pull up to the courthouse and make our way inside. I sit down next to chris and he holds my hand. They bring in Joe and his eyes instantly find mine. He is smiling. I start to shake, chris notices and places his arm around me "it's okay. Don't let him get to you okay"
I just nod and look away from Joe.
The trial goes on as any normal trial would, I'm called to the stand and I relive the horrible things he has done to me. I can see chris wince at my words. His lawyer tries to shake me up and make me make a mistake but it doesn't happen. I'm not going to let him be set free because of me.
After all the testimonies and evidence the jury go off and talk while we sit and wait.
I can't stop shaking, chris holds me tight and I bury my face in his neck. He kisses my head lightly "it's okay Nik"
The jury come back out and we all wait to hear the verdict. I bury my face in chris chest, scared to hear what they have to say.
"We the jury find the defendant...........guilty"
I hear chris shout "yes!!!"
I grip hold of him and cry into his chest
"Nikki, he's gone now. Your free"
I look up at him and without thinking I kiss him. He doesn't pull away, he just holds me.
"Thank you chris"
"For what?"
"For everything. I couldn't have gotten through this without you"
"I'm always here for you okay no matter what"
We walk back to the car, hand in hand. The drive to my house is quiet. I know I shouldn't have kissed him but I was in the moment.
Before we head in I turn to talk to chris "chris?"
"Yeah"
"I'm sorry I kissed you"
"It's okay"
"No it's not you have a girlfriend and I shouldn't have done that"
"She isn't my girlfriend Nikki. I don't really know what she is"
"But your seeing someone else and I shouldn't have kissed you so I'm sorry"
He reaches over and cups my face "it's okay"
We head on into the house and the twins run to me "mummy"
"Hello my babies, did you have fun with Lisa?"
"We did"
They see chris behind me and run to him, he scoops them both up and spins them around
"Chris, are you staying? Please?"
"I can stay, if it's okay with your mummy"
"Mummy? Please"
"Of course he can"
"Yay!!!!!"
I laugh, Lisa comes out with Rosie in her arms "hey you two. She is fed and changed so she will probably be ready for a nap soon. How did it go?"
I look up at chris and he smiles "guilty"
"Really? Oh honey that's amazing"
She comes over an engulfs me in a huge hug.
She decides to head home so we can settle the kids. We spend the afternoon just playing and relaxing, kids are loving having chris here and so am I in all honesty.
We feed the kids and get them ready for the bed, they want chris to do everything for them. Of course he is happy to do it. He tucks them in and heads into the living room, I've just finished feeding Rosie and I'm about to put her down. Chris kisses her on the head and says goodnight. I place her in her crib and sing to her.
I head back into the living room and chris is sat smiling at me.
"What are you smiling at?"
"I heard you singing to her"
"Oh, you've heard me sing before"
"Yes but that was the song you used to sing when we were kids"
"Yeah it was. All of the kids love it"
"You hungry?"
"A little"
"Should we order in?"
"Sounds good. I'm just going to go change"
"Okay. Chinese good?"
"Perfect. You know what I have"
"Of course"
I walk into my room, and get myself sorted for the night. I'm looking in the mirror after washing my face, I don't know what comes over me but all of sudden I'm crying. It's like my emotions for the day have finally caught up to me. I sit down on the floor and just sob. I must have been gone for a while because chris comes in
"Nikki?" He turns to see me on the floor
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. I'm just......I'm free chris"
"That's a good thing Nik"
"I know. I don't know why I'm crying"
He wraps his arms around me and holds me tights.
"It's been a long day"
"It really has"
I pull away and he is staring at me, he wipes my tears away with his thumb. He cups my cheek and runs his thumb over my cheek bone. He smiles down at me and he leans in. I know I shouldn't but I'm in love with this man and I just want to be with him. I kiss him, it's slow and passionate, but soon turns into more. It's heated and full of emotions. He picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. He sits down with me on his lap. I can feel him underneath me. He pulls away from the kiss and looks at me "are you sure?"
"Yes chris, please"
He smiles and we carry on where we left off. We loose ourselves in each other and it's the best feeling in the world. I'm happier then I have been in so long.