Pain of the past

2 weeks later

Rosie was now 1 month old and I couldn't believe it. She was growing so fast.
I had gone to police and explained everything to them and they had arrested Joe he was to be imprisoned until his trial which was in a few weeks. I felt better knowing he wasn't out there waiting to get us.
The twins were doing great, school had really bought them out of there shells and they were coming along amazingly.
Chris and I weren't doing so well, after our second kiss 2 weeks ago, things were awkward. He hadn't spoken to me about it and I was feeling so confused.
We were having dinner one night last week, all of us and Noah called him daddy again. I felt so bad for him. He was so confused and I couldn't keep doing it. So I told chris I was going to start looking for an apartment and he hasn't really spoken to me since. He helps me with the kids but doesn't say much to me.
I had a call last night from one of our oldest friends tara she had found an apartment to rent and I could move in whenever I wanted.
The kids had all been put to bed and I had just showered. I came down and found chris on the sofa.
I sat down in the chair "chris we need to talk"
He looked over at me and turned the TV off.
"What's up?"
"I'm moving out tomorrow"
"Your what?"
"I'm moving out. Tara found me a place and I'm leaving"
"Nikki you can't just..."
"Why? You haven't spoken to me all week chris. We've kissed twice and you don't have anything to say about it. Noah keeps calling you daddy and we aren't dealing with that. I need to not be here because me and my kids are getting so confused. I don't know what you want from me chris."
"Nikki..."
"No okay. I spent all of my high school experience wishing you would notice me, wishing you would realise that I was in love with you but you didn't. So I moved on and now your just confusing my heart more"
"You loved me?"
I just stand and shake my head "I'll be out by the time you get back tomorrow" I sniffle slightly, the tears had started without me even realising "thank you for all you've done for me and my children. I will always be so grateful to you"
And with that I walk to my room and lock the door. I slide down the door and crumble. The truth is I was still in love with chris but he didn't feel the same. He was caught up in a ready made family and his feelings weren't real. If they were he would have said something surly. I curl up in bed and cry my self to sleep. Just once I wish I could be the one who gets the happy ending.

Chris POV

I'm sat on the sofa stunned by what Nikki has just told me. Truth is I don't know how I feel, me and Nikki were always close in school and I did have feeling for her but I was too scared to tell her. And when she came back into my life, and needed me to protect her I jumped at the chance because I had missed her so much.
When she kissed me at the hospital, I figured it was just her hormones. She had just given birth and then I kissed her 2 weeks ago and I put it down to adrenaline, after dealing with Joe. But the truth is I kissed her because I wanted too and hearing Noah call me daddy just made my heart melt. I love Nikki and her children but I didn't ever want to over step because she is going through so much already.
And now she is leaving and I don't know what to do. Maybe she needs this space, maybe we both do to figure out our feelings properly.
As I walk to my room, I can hear her crying.
I just want to comfort her but I know she won't let me right now.
I walk away and check on the kids, they are tucked up nicely and fast asleep. I love them so much.
I head to my room and get into bed. I don't know if I'll actually sleep tonight. I have so much going through my head. So many unanswered questions and so many feelings. I don't know how to deal with it all.
I love Nikki but am I ready for a ready made family?