Pain of the past

6 months later

I have been back in Boston for 6 months and I'm now 7 months pregnant. I'm still living with chris at the moment but I'm looking for a place of my own. Chris has been amazing, he is so good with the twins and he has been such a sweetheart with me during this pregnancy.
I got a restraining order against Joe and he is not allowed access to the kids or me. I actually felt safe here and when chris was away filming scott or Lisa would come and stay with me. It was so nice to feel part of a family again.
The twins had started calling scott and chris uncle and Lisa grandma which they all loved.
I found out a couple of weeks ago I was having a girl. Jessica was so happy to have a baby sister but Noah wasn't so happy. He really wanted a baby brother. I had managed to save up enough money to buy the essentials for the baby and I still had a lot left over from the twins, chris was nice enough to go and get the rest of my stuff from joes place. The police where there just in case Joe showed up but he didn't.
Chris had a lot of rooms in his house so he told me to just set up a nursery in one of them but I didn't want to unpack everything when I was looking for a place of my own.
"I told you, just stay here it's fine"
"No chris, your a single guy. You don't need 3 kids and me here when your trying to get lucky or have a relationship with someone"
"Hey, if that girl can't handle my best friend and her kids then she ain't the one for me"
I laugh "don't be stupid chris"
"Hey! I'm not stupid I'm telling the truth"
He was building the cot for the baby just in case she came early.
"This is stupid!"
"Well if you would follow the instructions then maybe it would be working"
"Instructions are for idiots"
"My point exactly"
He threw a cushion at me "funny"
I was laughing so much that the baby decided to give me a kidney shot "ouch!"
Chris was up and by my side "are you okay?"
I giggle "I'm fine, she just kicked really hard"
"Can I feel?"
"Of course" I took his hand and placed it where she kicked. I pushed slightly and she kicked back.
"Omg that's amazing"
"Yeah doesn't feel so amazing for mummy"
He knelt down and started talking to my stomach "hey baby girl, quiet down in there would you. Your hurting your mummy"
As chris was talking she was kicking more "she likes the sound of your voice"
"She does?"
I nod and grab his hand again and place it on my stomach "talk to her again"
"I'm going to spoil you rotten when you come out of there you know" she kicked again really hard. He laughed "she is definitely going to be a soccer player"
"Hmmm we will see" I look at the time and see it's time to pick the kids up from Nursery.
I put them in a nursery for a few hours a day so they can get used to school.
"I've gotta go get the kids"
"I'll come with you"
"You don't have too"
"I know but I want too If that's okay?"
"Of course"
We drive to the school and wait outside. Jessica and Noah come running to us. Giving us hugs and rambling about there day. For 3 year old they can talk. When we get back, I make us all some quick lunch and the kids go and play with dodger in the back garden. Chris is sat watching them and I'm watching chris.
Being back with him here makes me so happy. I was scared he wouldn't forgive me for just leaving the way I did.
"What you staring at Nikki?"
"Nothing just happy"
"Good. I really do mean it you know about you guys just living here"
"I know chris but it just complicates your life too much"
"I don't care what people think nik"
"I know but I just don't want to take away from your success because of my stupid life okay"
"Hey, your life isn't stupid. You have 2 incredible kids and another one on the way, you have done amazing considering what you've been through. And you have an incredibly handsome friend like me so your life is perfect"
"Whatever you dork"
"Huh punk!"
I laugh and look out at the twins, they were so happy here. Would it be so bad if I chose to stay?
"I'll think about it chris okay"
"Okay"
The kids came running over "mummy?"
"Yea sweetheart"
"Can we have an ice pop?"
"Of course. Come on"
Noah turned to chris "daddy come on"
I stop, shocked. I look at Noah and back at chris and he is just as shocked. I don't know what to say or do. "Noah honey...."
Before I can finish, chris grabs his hand "come on buddy let's go get that ice pop"
I stand out of the decking. I need to deal with this but I don't know how. I knew they were growing close but I didn't expect this to happen.
My life just keeps getting more complicated.