The Cult [h.s]

~twenty four~

TW-//sexual assault.

"You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad"

~Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

Alena's POV

I twirl in front of the huge wall length mirror in my closet to check if my outfit was proper or not.

After my power nap of more than four hours, I am feeling better and a whole lot energetic. So you can say that I am excited to go to the club now.

I smile to myself as I twirl in front of the mirror many times, looking myself up and down.

I have chosen to wear a satin sage green halter spaghetti strapped tank top which I have tucked in neatly in my black jeans. I put on black bondage boots to give myself sort of a bad bitch look. I don't wear any accessories on my neck as I am not in a mood of it. I just wear a silver charm bracelet to complete my club Alena look.

My dark hair is down, falling till my shoulders. They are naturally straight and I love them. I showered and dried my hair after waking up from my slumber. It feels amazing and volume-y now.

After waking up, suddenly I was excited to go to the club. I know it doesn't sound like me. But what got me into it is that it sounded like a great distraction and I needed loads of those.

I also have this sudden burst of confidence in me wearing this outfit which reveals a huge slit of my cleavage and my tight jeans makes my ass look full and on public display. I am insecure with my body and myself but I am trying to get over it, and it starts from loving myself and my body.

It is difficult, I can't love myself knowing that I killed someone, my mother with my foolishness. As soon as these thoughts enter my mind, I feel tears forming in my eyes. I blink rapidly trying to get rid of it so that my mascara doesn't smear.

Yes, I am wearing mascara. I also put on a light pink lip gloss. I haven't dressed up in a very long time. I always wear formal clothes. This is me getting out of my comfort zone to break some boundaries and enjoy tonight.

As much as I enjoyed last night at convention, sadly it is not the same as a club now, is it?

My phone buzzes from my butt pocket and I retrieve it, seeing a text from Zayn.

Zayn: i am almost there.

Me: okay x

I text back, grab my sling bag, shove my phone inside it and walk down the stairs. It is almost 9:45 pm now and Zayn is gonna pick me up so that we can go to Krion together.

Halfway down the stairs I forget to get something so I climb back to my room. I pick up the black mesh gloves from my dresser and put them on my hands.

I don't care about the burn marks but I seriously don't want anyone asking about it. It will just piss me off and I want to live tonight.