Natasha Romanoff One-Shots

New Years Eve (traumatic) part 2

TW: mentions of a panic-attack

Pov y/n

When Wanda comes to me and asks if I want to dance, I carefully slide my drink back to Nat so she can watch it.
We walk to the dance floor and I let the beats of the music guide my dancemoves.
It's fun to dance with Wanda and makes me forget my worries for quite a while. 

After a lot of songs I go back to the bar, out of breath from all the dancing.
Nat mixes a drink for someone else so I just sit down and wait.
"Did you have fun with Wanda?" I nod and take the water she put in front of me.
"The music is really great and it was so much fun, we tried a few new dance moves. I think we should try them again when we haven't drunken something because we nearly fell." 

I tell her and laugh at the memory. Natasha's smile is bright and she peeks my cheeks. I'm really glad she isn't jealous.
We talked about it and she isn't that comfortable dancing around with others watching her. When we're alone in our room we have little private parties and dance together but not when so many people are around. She prefers to work at the bar and watch me have fun.

A while later we go and sit with some of the Avengers, just talking and laughing.
My eyes wander around until they find a clock and I feel my fingers starting to fidget with the bracelet I am wearing. 

Nat carefully places here hand in mine. She always does this when I start to get nervous and fidget, to show me I'm not alone.
I play with her fingers and the one ring on them. She usually doesn't wear rings but when she knows I could be nervous she does, so I can play with it. 

It's only half an hour until midnight and I start to get anxious.
I barley notice how she excuses us and gets up, pulling me towards our room.
My breathing starts to quicken again. 

I don't want the fireworks to start, I don't want the flashbacks, I don't want to be reminded of my trauma. 

My thoughts swirl around my head and I have a hard time focusing on anything else.
Somehow we got back to our room and she turns to me. Her lips are moving but I can't hear what she is saying, I'm completely zoned out. I feel her hands on my face and she pulls me closer to give me a little kiss, that pulls me back into reality. 

"We have a little bit of time. How about we change into our pyjamas? That's more comfortable. Okay honey?" I just nod and start to undress myself. She hands me my pyjamas and undresses herself. 

Even though I'm a bit more present now, I still feel caught up in my head.
Natasha gets a hairbrush and sits on the bed, leaning against the headboard and pats the space between her legs. I crawl to her and sit between her legs, with my back to her.
She undoes my hair and brushes it out gently while she whispers words to cheer me up into my ear. 

Her breathing is calm and I try to follow it.
Slowly I get a bit less anxious and my thoughts stop spinning so fast.
She's finished brushing my hair and pulls the blanket over us while I turn around to cuddle. 

Her fingertips play with my hair and I listen to her heartbeat.
We lay there like this for a while until I feel her move. Her head comes down to my ear.
"Nothing's gonna happen to you, Baby. I swear. I'm here and I'll protect you. It's not cyborgs and you won't get hurt. You're save with me, just concentrate on my breathing and try to breathe with me, okay?" Her voice is calm and soft. 

I nod, knowing it's only a few more moments until midnight. I tense a little and she kisses my hair as I burry my head in her shoulder. She pulls the blanket higher and puts her hands over my ears.
It's completely silent, I just feel her breathing and her heartbeat. There is no other noise and I relax a little. 

Our breaths are even now and I close my eyes. I don't know how long we stay like this but when she takes her hands off my ears she kisses me. "It's all over now, you've done so great, baby."

I let out a breath of release I didn't know I was holding.
"Happy new year, my love." She says and kisses me gently.
I kiss her back and smile a little bit.
"Happy new year, babe. And thank you, for being there for me."
She hugs me tighter as an answer and we slowly drift off to sleep in the new year.