Natasha Romanoff One-Shots

Nightmares

TW: slight panic attack and trauma

Pov y/n

It's currently around 1 am and I lay in bed, reading a book. The light on my nightstand is dimmed so Nat won't get disturbed by it. She's already asleep since 9 pm because she had a hard day. The mission she went on started at 5 am and she came home at 7 pm. It was successful but exhausting.

I glanced over her shoulder as she filled out the mission report and they had to fight a lot of enemies.
No one was hurt but it's still physically exhausting and after we got ready for bed, Nat literally fell into bed and was asleep a second later.
I know she must have been really tired because she loves our nightly cuddles and would never purposely miss them.
The sight of her being this tired made me a little worried but she loves her job and I won't ask her to stop doing what she loves.
So I just pulled the blanket over her and sat next to her, continuing a book.
Since then I read a lot but also were on my phone for a while.

I don't know what it is but something about the night always felt comfortable.
Maybe it's because it's quieter and calmer at night.
Most of the time we stay up until around 11 pm and go to sleep after that but my book just got so exciting that I had to keep reading.

I feel Nat shift a little beside me and look at her.
She's snuggled up into the blanket and looks so peaceful and without any stress. Seeing her like this makes my heart warm up.
A bit of rambling catches my attention a little while later and I look back at her.
Her expression isn't as calm as before, it's the opposite, she looks scared.
I can't quite understand what she is saying but it doesn't sound happy.
She starts tossing around and her words get a little bit louder.
"No...no...please...I...don't do that to me, please..."

I put my book aside, knowing she has a nightmare right now.
From time to time she gets those and wakes up, being totally upset and overwhelmed. Sometimes she even cries which is more than rare for her because she doesn't like to show her vulnerable side.
"Natasha, you're safe. Nothing can happen to you, you are dreaming." I say to her, knowing her subconscious will hear it and hopefully realize this.
Depending on the dream, it doesn't help to hug her because it causes her to panic even more.
I repeat my words a few times but it doesn't seem to work.

At last she wakes up, slightly shaking, her breath fast and shallow.
"Nat, it's me."
She turns her head towards me and as her eyes settle on me, she slowly recognizes me and I hold my arms open for her to cuddle into and she instantly does.
Her head on my chest and her face buried into my shirt. I hug her tightly, combing her hair with my fingers.
"It was just a nightmare, nothing can happen to you. You are safe here and with me."
She nods a little against my chest and I rub her back comfortingly, waiting for her to calm down.
"Deep breaths, in and out."

After a few seconds, she follows my instructions and I feel her body relax and smile a little, relieved she's calming down a bit.
When her breath is back to normal and she appears to be fully aware of her reality, she looks up at me and I smile a little at her, placing a soft kiss on her nose which makes her smile a tiny bit.
"Wanna talk about it?" I offer, knowing it helps her to separate reality and nightmare and go back to sleep eventually.
She nods and her voice sounds unusual small and still a little shaky. 

"I was back in the Red Room and I finished all my training, ready to be a Black Widow..."
She gulps and I look at her, showing her I'm still listening and won't push her to rush out with her nightmare.
"They told me I was almost ready to graduate and lead me into a room with a bed, strapping me onto it so I couldn't get up or move. They rolled me out into the hallway and I knew what was coming and panicked. I wanted to flee but I couldn't move and just saw the doctor's face, evilly smirking at me and I knew there'snothing I could do to stop it...."

A single tear rolls down her cheek and she wipes it away, taking a deep breath.
Those kind of flashback nightmares are always the worst ones that get her the most upset, which is absolutely relatable.
"You are not in the Red Room anymore. You're here, at the Avenges compound with me and you are safe. They won't get you into her hands ever again. I will protect you with everything I have and am. The ceremony sadly happened. But now you are stronger than them and you took the Red Room down a year ago. They won't ever be able to do that to young woman ever again." 

After those kind of dreams, she has a hard time, separating the dream from her current reality. That's why I help her with that as much as I can, explaining what part is real and which isn't or isn't an issue anymore.
Her eyes search for mine and as they find them, she holds the eye contact a little while, thinking about everything I said and processing it.
Slowly but surely, I can see her getting a hold of what's real and what isn't and she nuzzles her head back into me.
"Thank you."
"Anytime."
I kiss her hair and lean my head a little against hers and hold her close.
We cuddle for a long time before her breath evens out and she drifts off into a peaceful sleep again, holding on to me tightly, knowing I will keep her safe and protect her, forever.