Natasha Romanoff One-Shots

Too much

TW: a bit of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and scared

Pov Nat

I'm sitting on the couch, solving a sudoku. Soft music plays in the background and it's calm.
My attention shifts when someone enters the room and I look up to see my girlfriend y/n.
She looks a little sad and comes to me, without saying a word. I put the sudoku down before she gets to me.
She sits between my legs and rolls herself into me, making herself as small as possible.

Worry shoots through my body and I wrap my arms around her to give her some more comfort.
She stays quiet and just nuzzles more into me. Someone seems to be cuddly today. It's adorable but I'm still worried by the expression on her face.
She doesn't seem like she wants to talk about it right now so I pull a blanket over us to keep her warm. Her head lays on my chest after she shifts a little to sit more sidewards in my lap, her body still curled into mine. I slowly draw patterns on her back with one hand while the other hand brushes through her hair. This always calms her down and it seems to work this time too because the calmer she gets, the less tense she is.

I place kisses on her head every once in a while and just enjoy the cuddles for now, she will tell me what's going on when she's ready to.

After some time she slowly lifts her head to look at me. Even though she seems more relaxed now, her expression is still a little sad.
"What's up, angle?" I ask softly and kiss her forehead.
"It's too much." She answers quietly and her eyes look down again.
"Do you want to explain that a little more?" I gently suggest, not having a clue what exactly she's talking about.

There is a lot that she could mean and I really wanna know what it is so I can maybe help her deal with it.
She nods and moves to face me, her legs now on either side of my hips.

"Everything that's coming up gets too much. My final exams are soon and I have to study for them but it's scary because they seem so huge and there is so much I have to learn. I am trying my best but it's overwhelming and making me anxious and then I try to push back the studying but I can't really do that because I don't have the time to push it back. But thinking about it makes me nervous and I get so easily distracted. And it feels a little like it's slowly burning me out but when I think about taking a day off, I feel guilty because, like I said, I don't have the time for that. On top of that I have to plan what exactly I wanna do after school and I actually should already be sending out applications but thinking about my future and these huge life changes also gives me major anxiety and insecurities. So I decide to concentrate on studying first but that's not how it works because I have to start applying now and think about it constantly subconsciously. It's draining but I can't take time off because it's all happening so fast and I don't know how to deal with it and my emotions go crazy and it's overwhelming and I don't know how to handle all of it." She shares with a slightly shivery voice and my heart breaks a little seeing her this upset.

I knew she had some stuff to do but I never knew it made her feel this anxious and overwhelmed.
"My poor angle." I coo and cup her face and start to kiss her lips gently until the little pout disappears. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

She thinks about it for a second while she starts fidgeting with her fingers. I give her my hand so she can play with my fingers and she takes it and looks down at our hands. She shakes her head but then shrugs.
"I don't know. I just want everything to stop for a minute and stop to be this overwhelming and scary." She mumbles and I wish so badly I could give that to her but I can't.

"It seems a lot and it is. I can't imagine how overwhelming and scary that must be. But you don't have to go through this alone, my sweetheart. I'm gonna support you in whatever way possible. You don't have to do this completely on your own. Sadly I can't take the studying off you but maybe I can sit with you and help you to stay calm. And when it comes to the applications, I can also help you to find out what you need and to set them up and send them. And if you don't feel ready for it, I am sure we're gonna find something else." I tell her and play with a strain of her hair.

She looks up at me and I see how scared she is.
"I don't like change." She whispers and I nod.
"It is very scary." I agree and now she's the one nodding. "But sometimes things have to change and we can't really do anything about it. The good thing is that one thing won't change: our relationship. I will still be with you and I will protect you from as much as I can and will help you adjust to the change without it being too scary, hopefully." I assure her and watch as her eyes search in mine to see if I'm being honest.
It seems to calm her down a little that I really mean it and she leans into me, my hands wrapping around her securely.

"Can you make it stop?" She muffles into my shoulder and I lean my head against hers a little.
"Sadly I can't, angel. I wish I could but it's not possible. But I can tell you that it's okay to take a day off. I know it feels wrong but it's very important to have breaks so you won't have a break down."

I can sense that she's about to say something against it but then decides not to.
"Maybe you're right." She agrees and I smile a little in relieve. I wouldn't want to discuss this with her on top of all the stress she currently has.
"Okay, so we will have a calm day tomorrow and you can relax and forget about it for a while. Okay?"
She nods and kisses my neck in agreement which gives me little butterflies.

"Can we also call it quit for today?" I ask again and she hesitates but agrees after a bit. Good, so she can calm down now and rest.
She keeps hugging me and I decide to lift her up, my hands underneath her thighs to carry her into our bedroom.
"How about a nice bubble bath?" I suggest and she agrees, carefully letting go of me so I can prepare the bathtub while she packs her things on the desk together.

When everything is ready, we get in the bath and she leans against me, relaxing in the warm water.
"What do you wanna do tomorrow?" I ask as she starts playing with one of my hands again that is rested on her stomach. She shrugs absentmindedly and I smile at how cute she looks playing with my fingers.

"How about we make some sandwiches and fruits and ride our bikes to the park to have a picknick there?"
Her head lifts up and she looks at me, her eyes sparkling a little now.
"Can we go to the park with the little river and put our feet in the water?" She asks with big eyes.
As if I could say no to her cute face when she gets so excited over this.

"Of course, whatever you want, angle." I replay and smile at her happy face.
A weight lifts off my heart as it seems that she's feeling better.
The fresh air and some movement will be good after all the time she spent inside studying.

After our bath we get into our pyjamas and go get something to eat for dinner from the kitchen. The food is eaten quickly and we slip into bed. She cuddles into me as we watch a movie.
Her head rests on my chest as she watches the screen. One of my hands rests on her hip while the other combs softly through her hair and I watch as her eyelids get heavier.
This always puts her to sleep and she really needs to rest after the emotionally and mentally exhausting day she had.
Her eyes flutter close and her breathing evens out until she is fully asleep in my arms.

I kiss her head softly before I turn off the TV and the light and snuggle her before I fall asleep too.  

A/n: A big thanks to everyone reading, voting and commenting on my story, it makes me smile every time. :D
Also I started writing a second book, called "Falling for a Maximoff" if you want to check that out. It's a whole story this time. :)

Thanks for reading and love to you all <3