Natasha Romanoff One-Shots

Toxic (?) friends

A/n: I don't really like the titel but I couldn't think of a better one so if you have any suggestions, I'm happy to hear them.

TW: Being mistreated, self doubt, feeling small

Pov Natasha

I'm sitting at my desk, doing some paperwork while silent music plays in the background. Fury gave me a few after-mission-reports from some recruits that I'm supposed to check.
It's 4 pm but I am eager to finish my task. Besides it's not that much work anymore and I want to be finished when y/n comes back.
She's meeting a friend in the city today and she was really excited about it because they haven't properly seen each other in a while. It was adorable to listen to her when she told me what she wanted to do with her friend.
I'm really happy for her and hope she has a great time.

An hour later or so, the door to the bedroom opens and I look up to see my girlfriend.
She looks upset.
Without saying anything, she closes the door, comes to me and sits on my lap, burying her face in my neck. My arms wrap around her automatically and I hold her.
She makes no sign in moving or saying anything so I slowly get back to work. One hand always stays on her back while I work with the other.
Sometimes she just needs cuddles and I'm more than happy to give them to her, even though I'm a little confused why she is back already. I assumed she would be gone until 8 pm or so but apparently not.

It doesn't take long and I'm done with work. I lift her up carefully and sit down on our couch with her.
"Wanna tell me what's going on?" I ask softly, not wanting to push her.
She nods and leans back to look at me. I brush some hair out of her face and kiss her cheek.
"You remember the friend I planed on meeting today?" She asks and rests her hands on my shoulders. I nod and wait for her to continue.

"I was really looking forward to seeing her again because it's been a long time and I missed her. The original plan was to meet up around 2 pm at a little café, drink some coffee or tea and then stroll through the city and have some fun. And maybe having dinner together afterwards." Y/n explains while I nod, remembering the plan she told me yesterday in bed.

"Well, I was there at 2 pm, sipping on a cup of tea and waiting for her. Since she tends to be a little bit late, I just watched some people, knowing she'd come soon. Then I get a text around 2:30 pm, saying she will be a little late but tries to be there at 3 pm..."
She pauses and thinks back to the situation and I see hurt in her eyes, knowing the message made her a little sad.
"She arrived around 3 pm so everything was fine and we drank some tea and coffee and were catching up. After we finished, we went outside to walk around the city. She had some things to do and I followed her into some stores. We talked during that and I really enjoyed the time with her. At some point we met another friend, which was fine in the beginning since I thought we'd still have some time together alone but it turned out differently. They started talking about topics that I have no clue of and dove into their own little world. I started adding something to the conversation because I thought of something that I could tell them in that context but they started a whole new conversation in the middle of my story."

Y/n bites her lip a little and I can see that she's holding back some tears. It hurts her deeply when people forget about her presence or talk over her. She made some experiences with that in the past and it made her shut herself off, keeping things to herself and made her feel less and unimportant.
I helped her work through that and showed her that she is worth something and that I really care about what she has to say. I reassured her patiently that she isn't annoying when she tells me what's going on in her mind.
Being ignored and people speaking over her left scars and reliving that can't feel nice.
I cup her face with one hand and wipe away a tear with my thumb, locking eyes to show her I'm still listening.

"It made me feel small and unimportant again but I tried to ignore that and hoped for a topic change. But that didn't happen. They didn't even notice that I was walking silently behind them. We went to the last store where f/n (friend's name) had to go to and after we got out, she turned around to me and asked if it would be okay for me if she would go to the bus station now. It was around 4:25 pm at that point and we didn't do any of the things I hoped we would do. But I didn't want her to get bored with me so I just nodded. I wanted to spend more time with her but I didn't want to force her to. The other friend then said she would take the bus too so they took off after a quick hug and I went home. I...it just felt...it made me upset and sad because I got the feeling she was using me to be her company while she had to do her stuff and as soon as she was done, she didn't need me anymore."

Y/n presses her lips together and her eyes fall down to look at her hands that she pulled off my shoulders to rest them in her lap.
"But maybe I'm just overly sensitive and am overreacting." She states quietly and I have to hold back to not get too annoyed with her friends. I hate how they make her feel and question her self-worth. She is such a wonderful person but apparently her 'friends' don't seem to notice that.
"You are not overreacting, baby. Your feelings are very valid and you have every right to feel this way. And you are not overly sensitive, they did treat you bad and it's totally okay to be upset and sad about it."

She starts fiddling with her fingers and her voice is quiet when she speaks.
"They didn't mean to hurt me and maybe it was my fault because I didn't interact enough."

I take a deep breath, trying to manage my emotions because I'm more than upset with her friends for treating her this way and making her questioning herself.
But right now I know that she needs me to comfort and assure her so I put the negative feelings aside and stay calm.
"They maybe didn't mean to but they definitely did and that's not okay. And it's not your fault at all. Please don't try to blame yourself for the actions of other people. They just don't deserve you, if I'm being honest. You said you felt like she used you?" I ask back and she nods slowly.
"I hate to say it but it does sound so, you're not the only one who thinks that. Your friend knows how long you haven't seen each other but she doesn't seem to put much effort into it and it's natural that you feel sad and upset about it."
Y/n gulps and I see a tear dropping from her face.

"Can you look at me, sweetheart?" I ask softly and she lifts her head a little to look into my eyes. The tears in them hurt me because I hate seeing her sad and knowing she feels invalid.
"It wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. I'm very sorry, they made you feel left out and sad. And I know it's hard to push past that but I'm here for you and we will get through this, okay?"
Her y/e/c eyes look into mine as if she was checking if I was being honest and then nods slowly.

"I don't like this feeling." She whispers and new tears start to run down her face.
I look at her with soft eyes and cup her face with the other hand now too.
"I know, my baby." I whisper back before I let her fall back against me, her face buried in my neck once again.
My hands rub circles on her back in an attempt to calm her down and I kiss her temple every once in a while. I let her feel her feelings so she can get them out and doesn't feel like they are invalid.

After a while her body stops shaking from all her sobs and she leans back and sniffs. I give her a tissue that she takes to wipe her face.
Her eyes are read and puffy from her crying.
I lean forward a little and place little kisses all over her face, showing her my affection and love. She doesn't have to fear to be ignored by me and I swore myself to never make her feel as bad as the people did in her past.
She is my baby, my everything and I will do my best to protect her as long as she wants and lets me.

When I reach her lips, she kisses back gently and a small smile pulls the corners of her mouth up.
My heart feels a little lighter, seeing her starting to feel better.
"I truly love you, do you know that?" I ask and her smile grows a little.
"I love you too. And thank you for being there for me and for reassuring me." She says, her eyes gazing into mine.
"You're welcome, angel. Forever and always." I kiss her forehead and hug her tightly.

Maybe I should try to get ahold of her friends and teach them a lecture on how to properly treat people...