Never Again

19

Laurent's POV:

I hated how much my body craved Larry every time he came close to me. It was hard holding myself back especially after finding her in his hotel room almost naked after he gave me a bl*wj*b earlier in the same day.

It's the same thing over and over again. Every tine we fought he would invite one of his girlfits to become a barrier between us until Larry realized he was in the wrong and sent her home.

Unfortunately it happened way more than I care to admit. It was a never ending cycle until Larry expressed his love for me his true feelings.

But that didn't last long either. No matter how much Larry said he loved me he always messed up our relationship some how. This time it was back at home when he betrayed everything we were to each other.

Yes I have to admit I broke the promise to myself and gave into my desires (which I do not regret for a second) and took Larry after months of fighting my cravings.

After his cold shoulder towards me I realized that no matter how much I showed him how much I loved him he will never change. Like right now he's only following me around because I had mostly ignored him while we did our workshops only giving short answers to his questions.

That's until the last workshop when he cornered me and made me listen to what he had to say which I did, but not really. I do not care about listening to another excuse he had come up with to try and justify his actions. After seeing her in his room I decided I can't anymore. Nothing will ever change.

Larry will always be Larry. Selfish, egotistic, narcissist etc... Yea maybe this time it is different but that is only because we aren't together any more just like Larry wanted. So in truth anything he did from five months ago or so when he broke things off between us, he doesn't have to try and explain his actions to me.

He chose to break things off and yes even though I left mama's house with that girl (whom I cannot stand) to make him jealous (because even after we broke up Larry still acted like I was his) I took her to the hotel she was staying at. I waited for about two hours before going to his room just to test my theory which I wished was wrong but I knew better.

If Larry couldn't have what he "thought" he wanted at the time he wanted it he would make a rash decision and even though I tried telling myself after what he did earlier in the day that he wouldn't do something with her I knew better. Unfortunately I was right as soon as I knocked on his hotel room door and watched as she walked up behind Larry in a towel half naked, extremely messy hair (you know the hair that said I was just throughly f**k? Yea that hair) and the shocked look on his face told me everything I needed to know.

The way Larry stared at me told me he wished it wasn't me on the orher side of the door. He was hoping that I hadn't seen her, but I did and that gave me the courage to walk away. He didn't come after me to try explain then and there which means he truly didn't care that I saw her.

It took three workshops for him to get enough courage to come up with an excuse one he hoped I would listen to. Little does he know that her friend had already told me that she stayed with Larry that night and they hung out having breakfast in the morning.

So no matter what his excuse was I wasn't in the mood to listen. We are here to do workshops and check on our clothing line before our week long break (was supposed to be a month, but things changed, they always did) before heading to the states to start our workshop tours.

True we work better when we are talking and vibing together but my heart just can't take it any more. I love my brother and he will always be important to me but if I keep allowing him to do this sh*t then I will never be able to heal completely.

Maybe I should start seeing one or a few of my girlfits that I hadn't had anything to do with for a few years. We kept in touch but we just hang out there was nothing sexual going on between us. And why would there be I was with the love of my life the one person that I desired the moment my hormones began to crave his touch.

The moment I started seeing him in a different way was the moment that he was my heart and no matter what happened between us I would always be by his side protecting him, craving him, loving him and taking care of him.

As we made it back to the hotel I had hoped Larry would head to his room but of course he followed me to mine in hopes to continue this meaningless conversation he wants to have. Yes it is true we do need to talk about some stuff but not this useless conversation where he tries to convince me that nothing sexual happened between him and her.

Some times he thinks I am naive and yea I act like I am but I am far from naive. I just don't want to deal with sh*t sometimes.

As I walked into my hotel room with Larry quickly walking behind me. I headed towards the room for a much needed shower and a fresh set of clothes. I ignored his pleas to talk and after gathering my clothes I headed for the shower. Normally I would shower and dress in my room but if I am trying to be strong and not let Larry's closeness affect me I needed to dress in the bathroom.

I spent more time in the shower than normal especially when I am showering by myself but I just couldn't get out the shower because the moment I do Larry will start with his bullsh*t and I just can't. My energy is slowly draining away and I know Larry is feeling the same way because of this friction between us.

The more we fight and ignore each other the worse our fatigue hits us. Sometimes it's so bad we can barley function.

On the other end of our connection it either recharges us or drains us and right now it's draining us I'll be surprised if we can pull off a good workshop tomorrow without having to stop several times to catch our breaths which when we are in sync we are never breathless but when we are at odds we are breathless and tired our bodies set on autopilot.

A knock and Larry's frustrating voice brought me out of my thoughts. I quickly finished drying off and got dressed opening the door to see a tired Larry.

F**k...