Never Again

29

Laurent's POV:

Larry and I truly needed to talk but I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth and utter any words.

So I just sat at the table waiting for him to say something, anything. But after about ten minutes I realized he was or is unable to start the conversation just as I am.

I sighed and got up from the table and walked towards the living. I figured if we are going to drag out this for as long as possible before either one of us just break down and finally start the conversation I might as well get comfortable.

'Laurent where are you going'? I heard Larry ask from the kitchen. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to walk to the overly stuffed soft couch in the living room and sat down.

Yea I know we need to talk I should have answered him but he seen me walk out the kitchen across the hall towards the living room, and instead of asking me where I am going he could have followed me.

Yea I know I could have told him or rather ask him to follow me but I didn't. We never had to ask the either one where we were going we just knew or just followed each other with no questions asked.

I sat on the couch and waited for Larry to come into the living room also.

Unfortunately Larry didn't follow right away or asked me again where I was going. So I sat in the living room alone with my thoughts for a good ten maybe twenty minutes before Larry finally walked into the living room sitting in the overly stuffed soft chair on the opposite side of the living room.

It seemed like he wanted to be as far away from me as possible, but near me at the same time.

I gritted under my breath before taking a deep breath and decided to get this over with.

'Look Larry I know neither one of us want to have this talk that should have happened five or six months ago, but we really need to get it over with so we can either fix us or destroy us more'. I rushed in one breath.

'I know Laurent'. Larry said not looking at me. I waited for him to continue, but realized he was waiting for me, so I started with my questions first.

'Why did we really buy that house Larry'? I asked him which I have asked him several times before, and even though he had given me an answer I always felt it was only part of the truth. I heard him sigh before he finally answered me.

'I already told you Laurent'. 'The house is for us family and crew and our princess'. He said. I just shrugged it's the same answer he had always given me but I still do not believe it's the whole truth.

'Why did you want to break up after two decades, and treat me like I'm not important to you like you treat "that female"'? I gritted out. I watched as hurt flashed through his eyes before he answered.

'Laurent I love you'. 'You are my everything'. He growled out angrily. I just shrugged. If he thinks him saying it but not showing it will prove that I'm important to him he's lying to his self.

'Yea okay Larry'. 'That's why whenever we did live or Google Hangouts you always said I am not as important to you'. I said feeling hurt. It hurt every time Larry would say I was important to him, then he would change it. I have never hid how much I love my twin.

'Laurent, you should know I didn't mean it like how it came out'. He whispered sounding almost hurt. It's the same excuse as always he does something that hurts me then apologizes and says he didn't mean.

'Yea okay Larry'. I said dismissively.

'Laurent why did you leave me twice without telling me'? He asked a little aggressively. I took a deep breath and answered him truthfully.

'I left the first time because of what you pulled at the hotel and the second time because of "her"'. 'Plus I do not need to tell you where I am going especially when you have no time for me'. I answered him back just as aggressively as he asked me his question.

'Look Larry I love you more than anyone else in this world'. 'You will always have my heart, but I can't keep doing this'. 'We're always fighting, and for what'? 'You broke up with me'. 'You chose how "we" were going to act in front of people, even chasing people away from me'. 'You don't want me, but boy you don't want others to want me either'. I told him

'You are selfish'.

'Jealous'.

'An a$$hole'. 'And yet I still love you more than anyone else'. I sighed.

'But you could never find time for just us two that didn't envolve a workshop or a meeting, and when I finally agreed to accept our break up and leave I'm the
a$$hole'? I gritted out. I'm starting to get
pi$$ed off the more I talk about how I felt and what I had wanted to tell him for awhile now.

'Laurent when I told you I love you forever, I meant forever'. Larry rushed out before he got out the chair and started walking towards the couch I am currently sitting on and wrapped me in his arms.

'Laurent you are my forever'. He whispered. I couldn't help but stiffen in his arms. Every time I'm in his arms my skin grows flushed and goosebumps spread all over my body. I hated how much I still get affected by him.

'Laurent I never wanted to hurt you'. 'When I broke up with you I truly thought I was doing it for the both us'. 'Yes I know I am selfish, mostly when it comes to you, but I can't help it'. 'You are my heart Laurent forever'. Larry whispered out against my hair.

I wanted to relax in his arms but I couldn't.

I wanted us to go back like before, but we will never be us again.

'Larry I love you too'. I softly replied trying to keep my voice from cracking. It hurt knowing that most likely I will never be in his arms again. The arms that had shielded and crushed me more times than I care to remember.

'Laurent I am sorry for hurting you'. Larry said kissing my hair before unwrapping his arms from around me. I felt a sharp pang in my heart, but hid it from Larry the best I could as we finished talking about anything and everything else we still felt we needed to talk about.

We talked about our family.

Our crew.

Our workshops.

And our princess.

She was always my favorite person to talk to Larry about, well her and our mama.

I sighed and got up off the couch and headed up to our room. We talked but not as deep as I wanted us to talk. I guess some things are just best not to get answers for.