Never Again

30

Laurent's POV:

I left the living room to try and calm myself down.

I knew Larry was going to dance around our much needed talk.

He has always been this way, and of course I haven't ever put my foot down and force him to talk.

I paced back and forth in our room for about a half hour or so before I heard our bedroom door open and close quietly.

I didn't need to look up to know it was Larry who had walked into our room closing and locking the door behind him.

I continued to pace around the room still trying to calm myself down when I suddenly was pulled into Larry's arms.

At first I was stiff but soon relaxed and just stood in his arms. I couldn't find words to say to him.

'Laurent I am sorry I know we didn't talk like you wanted to'. 'I could feel your hurt and I know you are angry with me'. He said I just stood there quietly not wanting him to stop from expressing his self finally.

'Laurent I love you, more than anyone'. 'You truly are my everything and I know that when we are fighting it hurts you the most because you have the biggest heart of both of us'. 'You are my forever'. He rushed out, rubbing my back and sighing.

'I do not want to lose my heart Laurent, and losing you would be the same as losing my heart'. Larry whispered.

I didn't know how or what to say. I stood in his arms like a statue trying to decipher his words. My brain couldn't understand what he meant.

I knew in Larry's own way he did love me. It's just he hides his feelings from everyone including his self most of the time. I sighed and wrapped my arms around Larry and held him while he stroked my back and continued to talk.

'Laurent I truly am sorry for the way I broke up with you'. 'You know I would never hurt you on purpose'. He said softly. Truth be told I knew Larry would never truly hurt me on purpose, sometimes he just does sh*t without thinking of the consequences.

I nodded my head against his chest, letting him know I agree with him. I still couldn't find any words to say to him. Not that I didn't have a lot to tell him I just wanted him to finish telling me how he felt.

'Laurent when you left me I was so scared'. 'It scared me to think I truly had lost you'. He said sadly.

I wrapped my arms around him tighter to try and ease his sorrow just a little.

'Please Laurent say something'. He said.

'Larry I love you and will always love you'. 'You are my heart'. I told him honestly. 'I do not like seeing you or hearing you hurt, but I can't do this anymore'. 'Every time you screw up, I am the one who has to deal with the backlash'. 'I'm the one who smooths things out with everyone around us when you have one of your tantrums'. 'I'm the one you lash out at the most when something doesn't go your way, yet I am also the one you not only chase away but also chase after when you've calmed down'. 'Tell me should I continue to deal with you as your ex lover'? 'Your brother'? 'Or just a friend'? I growled out through my teeth. I felt him stiffen in my arms and I almost regretted what I had just said but I just couldn't hold back anymore. I truly didn't want to lash out but I was done.

'Laurent please'. He whispered sadly against my temple. I felt him tremble a little before he continued you talk.

'I need my brother'. 'I need my twin'. 'My heart'. He said. 'Yes we broke up, but I will never call you my ex anything'. 'First and forever you are my brother, my twin, my heart'. He said.

'Larry what is it that you truly want'? I asked trying to get out of his arms. Larry held me tighter.

'You'. He said. My breath hitched and my heart rate increased. I did not know why but I felt ecstatic, excited, anxious and nervous all at once.

This was the very simple word I heard him utter before when we were younger before we started all our sexcapades. The very one word that brought me to my knees.

F**K...I gritted in my head. I wanted to believe him I truly did, but honestly I just couldn't and it hurt.

'If you want me then why are we not together Larry'. 'For years we had heard rumours of us being together and they had never bothered you before so why now'? I asked a little aggressively.

I heard him sigh and took a deep breath. I knew this was something he would avoid talking about but I'm done with not talking about it.

'Because we are older now, and people expect us to get married and have a family'. 'Don't you want to have a family Laurent'? 'Don't you want babies'? He asked. I laughed not meaning to but I did. Babies and a family really? That's the reason he broke up with me.

'Yes Larry I do, and once upon a time I had a family and a baby but you decided I wasn't good enough'. I told him unwrapping my arms from around him and this time he let me go.

'Laurent we are family'. He responded.

Um duh? I thought

'It's okay Larry go find your family and make more babies and I will be the uncle'. I gritted out trying to keep my voice low and walked into the bathroom for another shower.

Now I understand, I was good enough for him until others expected us to settle down with girls and make babies.

If I wanted to settle down with someone else I would have. I just couldn't put myself fully into a relationship when my heart was always with someone else.

I stood under the shower till the water ran cold but refused to get out.

I needed to feel numb.

A loud knock and my mama's voice forced me to get out the shower.

Where was Larry?