Never Again

15

Larry's POV:

Laurent was pissing me off by ignoring me. Yea I know that I hurt him yet again our last night in Japan but I had to.

If we did everything we use to whenever we made love Laurent would think our time together was more serious than just a quickie.

Even though I never referred our time together sexually was just sex or just f**king like Laurent believes. I had to that night in Japan.

Normally after we made love we would shower and cuddle up against each other naked in bed. And every inch of my heart told me that I needed to agree with Laurent and shower with him like old times. But every fiber in my being told me I needed to ignore my pain and just brush him off which is what I did.

After Laurent left I laid in bed curled up in a ball and cried till I found sleep. I knew the reason the tears that flowed down my face was as thick as a waterfall was from Laurent's pain not just mine.

The moment he got up from my bed and got dressed I literally heard Laurent's heart shatter once again. The pain in my heart increased with every tear that silently slid down Laurent's face.

Our connection broke even more with every sharp pain I felt coming through our bond and deep breath I tried to take in.

I knew from the awkward silence we had between us at the workshop the day after our night/day together Laurent was leaving, actually he had already left, his soul was already gone, his body was just left behind barely functioning.

The workshop was long so painfully long and before I could process what was happening Laurent was gone texting Rubix and telling him he'll meet us in Paris.

F**k I should have done something to keep him with me last night. I should have listened to my heart. But of course I couldn't.

I discovered a long time ago that no matter where I am or where life takes us Laurent will always be my home. But what I want with Laurent is not what I can have. I don't want to have to continue on hiding my relationship from anyone. I don't want to have to continue on dating someone else just to be "excepted."

The fans knew, knows.

Well the die hard fans do.

Most people believe our connection is just brotherly and yes some of it is but it is and has been so much more.

After we finally boarded our plane I had called and texted Laurent over a hundred times without a response. I knew he would ignore me but I had to try. I needed to know if he was okay.

When we landed and Rubix got a text from Laurent telling him he had landed and that he was okay. My anger increased because Laurent chose not to answer any of my calls or text messages.

As the night fell and I still couldn't get ahold of Laurent and my anger was getting out of control. I wanted to head to wherever the hell he was just to bring his a$$ home but I couldn't Laurent needed this time to his self and as stubborn I am his stubbornness out weighs mine.

After a long restless night and countless unanswered calls Laurent finally picked up my call. I tried to stay calm but I lost my cool as soon as he started talking. I hate showing my emotions and right now if anyone came in my room they would know that not only am I pissed but also hurt.

We hung shortly after Laurent told me he'll be here tonight and as well as I knew Laurent I knew that he will not come to mama's house (even if we were still awake) not wanting to disturb anyone. He will most likely go to the hotel closest to the house. Which is where I plan on being as soon as he lands. Actually before he lands.

Midnight came before I knew it and I knew what hotel Laurent had checked into just as I knew he was not far from the house. I checked into a room on the same floor down the hall from Laurent's room.

I was not planning on waiting for tomorrow to gets this much needed argument done and over with. I needed my Laurent and he needed me and the longer we stayed at odds the less we can function.

I waited for Laurent to shower and order dinner or breakfast or whatever it was he ordered to eat before I walked towards his room knocking on the door. Laurent opened the door surprised to see me on the other side.

I smiled awkwardly not knowing what to expect surprisingly though Laurent opened the door wider allowing me inside his room. I stood next to the closed door waiting for him to say something even though I showed up at his room unannounced. I waited to see if he was going to yell or complain that I was there but nothing came.

After a few minutes of silence I started talking.

'Laurent how could you leave me like that?' I asked painfully.

'Seriously that's what you want to ask me'? He asked gritted through his teeth.

'I left because it was for the best for the both of us'. 'Besides this is what you wanted isn't it'? He said

'Why would I want that'? I asked softly. I didn't know how to take him right now it bothered me more than even he knew.

'Look Larry I gave you exactly what you wanted'. 'I stupidly gave into my desires and went to you, but you proved to me once again that I was and always will be not as important to you as you are to me'. 'So I had to leave'. He whispered out. My heart hurt feeling his emotions running through us.

I didn't know what to say.

Yes we broke up.

Yes I hurt him but I never thought Laurent would or could hurt me.

'I'm sorry Laurent'. I said pulling him into my arms, holding him as close to my heart as I could. I didn't want to lose my brother, my twin after I lost my lover.

I watched as Laurent tried to hold onto me as tight as I am holding him. Both of seeking comfort in each other no matter how brief.

'Larry I can't do this anymore'. Laurent said pushing me away from him wiping his tears from his cheeks.

'Laurent please I need you'. I begged.

'Give me time'. 'I will meet you at mama's house in the morning well I guess later today'. He said not looking at me.

'Okay'. I said sadly. I didn't want to force him to talk to me. I felt his pain as soon as I was inside his room and the longer I was there the more pain I felt.

After leaving his room I walked back to mine and fought for hours to find sleep. F**k I need to find a way where both Laurent and I can be around each other without being in pain.