Never Again

23

Laurent's POV:

After our workshop tour I checked out of my hotel room in the middle of the night. I already spoke to mama and told her I was leaving but would be back soon. She was upset I was leaving but didn't try to talk me out of leaving.

I knew once Larry found out I had left Paris he and that female will return to New York. Once they left (after about three days or so) I was going to come back to spend much needed time with my mama. It's been way to long for just us two to hang out.

After quietly checking out of my room and paid my bill with the receptionist at the front desk. I took one long last look at the hotel before climbing into my awaiting taxi.

Recently it feels as though all I am doing is running away, but truthfully this is the only way for me to deal with Larry's stupid decisions.

To be able to just look him in the eye with out wanting to either have my way with him or break down and cry from the hurt he has caused me. I need to regather myself first.

This time I hadn't told anyone where I was heading off to, not even my mama, I just told her I will be back soon.

She kept asking what was going on between Larry and I, and instead of telling her the full truth I just told her he wanted to spend some time with his girl. As soon as I said girl and not female I had to fight the bile that was threatened to come up, burning my throat.

I hate lying to mama but it's better than the "real" truth. Because like I said before our family and friends have grown accustomed to us practically being joined at the hip. So of course everyone around us especially our mama would notice something is going on between us.

Even when we would visit our mama these last couple weeks we were hardly seen in the same room together, but no one ever commented or even asked what was going on between us. They most likely thought it was one of our fights where we needed a couple days to cool off.

Unfortunately we, well I need more than a couple days to cool off. Mainly because after we bought the house (which is where I plan on sneaking off too, seems stupid beings that house is the start of my heartache, but I knew no one would look for me there (hiding in plan sight as the saying goes) and he dropped his bomb, we had been traveling trying desperately to act like we use to while holding our workshops. So I truly hadn't had time to properly react to everything yet.

I hadn't had any time to be able to properly process the true meaning of our broken relationship.

I need me time, and just me.

Once I have had some time to myself whether that means I cried, screamed or just simply laid in bed all day till my mind and heart felt cleansed enough to function without my craving, my need for Larry. Then I will begin to heal and start hanging out with friends and family starting with mama.

I stayed in our house for probably three and half weeks without anyone figuring where I was. It was lonely at first, but I got used to it. I walked in and out of every room (except the kitchen and Larry's room) finishing up the decorations for each room that we still had yet to complete.

At first I was going to leave it for Larry, but while I was here healing I had a heart to heart with myself and so instead of being bored I arranged the rooms. I haven't decided on whether this will be my last time in this house especially since we had bought this house for us, but also so our family and friends can visit without having to share rooms. Right now it's hard to know if this is the last time I am in this house, I haven't decided yet. But until I do decide I wanted the rooms to be ready for when our family and friends do come and visit.

I didn't have to put our princesses room together because that was the only room except for my bedroom and the bathroom on our floor and the two living rooms that both Larry and I had already put together. Larry put his room together as I put my own room together. The only room I hadn't touch since I got here almost a month ago was the kitchen.

I don't know what it is, (well actually I do) but I can't even walk in that room without thinking of Larry. So I avoided it and would order take out for my lunch and dinner. After finishing the rooms up locking my bedroom door I headed to the airport to go visit my mama. It took longer than I thought it would for Larry to leave Paris, but now that he has left mama's house (apparently after I checked out of the hotel, so did Larry and went to mama's house, without that female) I am heading back to Paris. I plan on a long visit.

The taxi driver stopping in front of the airport brought me out of my thoughts that were beginning to run through my head. The thoughts I stopped having about a week or so ago. The very same thoughts that reminded me I did the right thing. I avoided yet another phone call from Larry (I had done that a lot over the past couple weeks) checked in and waited for my flight to be called.

I avoided my ringing cell yet again and took to Instagram to see what everyone was doing. I have been talking to my crew and family, except for Larry since I left Paris. If it was a video chat I walked into my bathroom (beings no one has ever been in there) making them think I was in a hotel some where. If Larry was there when we talked and he didn't take over the phone to demand where I was, he simply just listened. I was nervous at first thinking he would remember what my bathroom looked like, but thank goodness he was always in his own little world whenever he would sneak in my room at night.

Closing Instagram and ignoring yet another phone call from Larry, I gathered my carryon and proceeded to board the plane. Sighing heavily, yet softly and took my seat praying for sleep to prevent my mind from wondering to much.