Never Again

14

I barely got any sleep last night. I felt more drained than I did before I went into Larry's room.

I knew it was stupid and I knew I would regret it in the morning because nothing would truly change between us but I needed him.

My body craved him and my heart ached for him.

Just like when we were younger we gave into our desires and pleasured each other.

When I finally woke up it was nine in the morning which meant I literally only got three hours of sleep.

After taking a shower getting dressed and finished packing I doubled and tripled checked the hotel room making sure I didn't leave anything behind.

Once I was satisfied that I didn't leave anything I grabbed my luggage, wallet, cell phone and the hotel key and left the hotel room meeting Larry in the hallway in front of his door.

We walked silently towards the elevator taking it down to the lobby checking out of our hotel rooms. Larry noticed both John and Rubix waiting for us by the hotel doors.

Without saying anything to me he walked towards them leaving me to finish checking us out.

Just like any other time we traveled. Ignoring the pangs of hurt running throughout my heart I finished checking us out and walked towards Rubix and John.

We all walked out the hotel together meeting our driver for today. Larry has yet to look in direction in fact he is walking side by side with John completely ignoring my presence.

I can already feel this is going to be a long and stressful day. Thank goodness it's just one workshop and no club appearances we can leave right after the workshop.

I tried to get Larry's attention a couple of times to find out what our plan was but he kept ignoring me so right after without waiting for him or the others I left the workshop headed straight to the airport and got on the next flight heading out of Japan.

I really did care where it was heading because I just needed to get away from Larry. Away from myself. Away from everything.

The stupidest thing I did was giving into my desires and now here I am wishing I could take last night back.

While I was boarding I got a text from Rubix wondering where I was. I told him honestly that I just needed some extra me time and that I left.

I also him I will meet him in Paris at my mama's house. After I replied I turned off my phone.

I knew Larry wouldn't text me wondering where I was. I knew he knew I left. I felt him during our workshop that he felt the same way as I did. Our need to get away from each other.

The whole plane ride I was so lost in thought I hadn't even known we were already landing. To my surprise we are in London another stupid thing I did was didn't pay attention to where the plane was heading just as long as it was leaving Japan.

I texted Rubix to let him know I landed safely but will be staying where I am for the night before heading to Paris tomorrow. He asked where I was but I refused to tell him. I message the management to tell them I will be in Paris tomorrow.

Our first workshop isn't for a couple days so it should be fine if I'm a day late to Paris. I wondered around London for a little while before hailing a cab and heading to the nearest hotel.

About forty five minutes later the cab stopped in front of The Resident Covent Gardens. A very beautiful place to stay at. I actually didn't care where the cab took me I just needed a room for the night.

After paying the cab driver I grabbed my luggage and went inside the hotel hoping to get a room. I left Japan without thinking ahead of time and booked myself a room wherever I was going. But I didn't even listen to the flight attendant or anyone else to know exactly where I was headed.

That's an issue I'm trying to work on. I am very impulsive hence what happened with Larry last night and me running away. I guess not running really just a strong need to get away from Larry.

After checking in I went straight up to my hotel room, took a shower and surprisingly after crawling in the bed I quickly found my much needed sleep.

I woke up the next day feeling much more like myself. I felt energized, relaxed and dare I say clear minded. My phone began to ring and after searching and finding it I answered without looking at the caller ID.

'Laurent' a very angry Larry yelled on the other end of the phone causing me to take the phone away from my already sore ear.

'Yea' I answered shrugging not caring that he can't see me right now.

'Laurent where the hell are you'? Larry angrily asked.

'No where.' 'I will be back later today.' I told him sounding as I don't really care that he's mad.

'Why Laurent'? He asked softly sounding almost hurt. But this is Larry this is the same guy who doesn't care about any body else's feelings. The same guy that will pull some sh*t to pull you in just to spit you out when he is done playing with you.

'Why what Larry?' I asked him nonchalantly already knowing the answer to what I just asked. But no matter how hurt or pissed off Larry was he refused to show his emotions so I knew he wouldn't answer me truthfully.

'Why did you leave without telling me where you were going?' He asked I again shrugged not wanting to answer him but I did.

'We needed this.' I told him gathering a fresh change of clothes and walking into the bathroom.

'Need what Laurent?' He asked sounded a little angry again. I didn't answer right away but after not hearing anything else from him I told him that I needed to shower so I can check out and head to the airport.

Without saying goodbye he hung up the phone. May be I overreacted a little this time because Larry truly does sound not just angry but hurt because I left.

Damn I hate the morning after...

After showering quickly I gathered my luggage and check out the hotel. I hailed a cab and headed to the airport. Yesterday when I landed I bought a ticket for Paris for today.

I quickly sent Rubix a text telling him I was heading to Paris now and turned off my phone and placed it in my carryon. Once I get there I will still have plenty of time to visit my family before the first workshop.

I managed to doze off on the plane coz before I knew it the plane had landed and I was being tapped awake.

It was dark outside not sure what time it is exactly after I get my luggage I'll text Rubix to let him know I'm here. Depending on the time is whether I head to mama's house or get a hotel for the night.

After hailing a cab I seen the time on my phone which read three minutes after midnight. I chose not to text Rubix and texted Larry instead telling him I am here and heading to a hotel for the night.

After arriving at the hotel and checking in, Larry texted me telling me I need to go to mama's and not a hotel. Not wanting to argue with him I just simply told him I already checked in turning off my phone.

Tomorrow I will deal with my very angry brother and my upset mama.