This Was A Mistake | Mattheo Riddle X Reader

chapter 19

the following chapter contains: mentions of self harm⚠️

Mattheo
It was almost going to be summer break.

I don't know if I was excited or upset about leaving for a bit. Things weren't good here nor at home.

Not to mention the fact that I'd have to spend my summer at the Malfoy Manor. With stupid Draco Malfoy.

The only good thing about being here was Maya right now.

Maya and I were doing well. I think I was actually..happy? I felt happy around her. I felt like all the bad thoughts towering over me had disappeared.

I'm now thinking about when the other day, we took a walk in the forbidden forest and saw an astonishing unicorn and it allowed us to pet it. We pet it together and our hands touched. That was when I realized, I might have had feelings for her.

She made me not want to be a bad person. She made me feel like I had a chance at being happy again like I was before my mother left. She reminded me a bit of her. Beautiful, nice, funny.

I still plastered my nonchalant disguise to her. I couldn't let her see how I truly felt. I didn't want to seem weak to her.

She didn't feel the same way. Though it felt like it. It was all fake.

I now loathed the thought of having to kill her. I was glad the 'kill her parents' thought was lifted off of my shoulders.

I know her parents were the worst type of people, but I just can't see myself doing this anymore.

I don't see myself killing people, enjoying it. I want to be good again. I want to go against him.

Maya
I didn't stop thinking about Mattheo for some reason.

I just felt happier and safer around him. He made me feel safe even when we weren't in public.

This was getting too far. It was only supposed to be a fake relationship to upset Draco. Which it did.

I can't like him. It's just not right. I need to avoid him at all costs until I find a way to finish this off with him. We need to 'break up' and move our separate ways. I cant get caught up in all of this. It's gone too far now.

I made my way to the great hall for a snack but on my way, I saw him sitting down against the wall on my way.

His head was down in his knees and his hands were in his trouser pockets.

I tried to make my way passed him quietly so he wouldn't hear me. "Where are you off to?" I heard him say. I stopped and backed up.

"Kind of weird to just sit here. Don't you think?" I cleared my throat. "I don't need to think because I don't care." He said poking his head out from his knees.

"Well- if it wasn't obvious, I'm literally walking into he great hall. Thought you would figure so." I sighed loudly,

"Well, there's many different ways. Maybe you weren't going to the great hall."

"I need to go." I said quickly and continued to walk.

After I got a snack I decided to go to the common room and find my friends. I only found Enzo, Adrian, and Daphne sitting at a table by the bookshelves. It was weird because we always sat the couch.

I looked to the couch and saw that there were some first years already hanging out there.

"Hey lovelys." I said as I sat down beside Enzo. "Hey." Enzo said. "Sup." Adrian said. "Hey Maya." Daphne said. "You all good?" I smiled a little to ease the quick tension.