This Was A Mistake | Mattheo Riddle X Reader

chapter 37

the following chapter contains: violence⚠️

Maya
I hardly wanted to be around anyone once we got back, not even Mattheo. Everything was worse than I thought.

I thought I'd be okay when we came back, but I'm not. All I want to do is still cry. That's all I can do.

"When's that New Year's eve party, again?" I asked Pansy snapping out of my thoughts. "Mm, next week I believe." she said.

"Alright." I sighed. "Why? Is everything alright, my love?" She turned to me. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I lied. "I dunno. You've been kinda off, since we got back." She shrugged. "Well, I'm fine. Stop worrying." I said calmly.

I wasn't fine. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to tell. I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone.

I wanted to cry in my room, forever. I couldn't even do that because of Pansy and Daphne.

It was really hard to suck it up around people now. I was only able to cry when I was showering or at night when everyone was asleep.

I'd been putting off having sex with Mattheo for a while now. He has yet to figure out why, I've been making excuses. I don't want him to know. I need to find out who did this. Then I'll tell him and my friends. That's the only way it'll work.

——————

"Hello gorgeous." Mattheo said leaning in to kiss my cheek. "Hello" I put on a bright smile.

"What you been up to? I feel like we've been distant lately." He laid down on my bed as I walked over to my wardrobe. "School and friends." I sighed. "I know, I'm sorry." I added on. I know I've been distant.

"Don't be. What's bothering you?" He asked.

"Nothing is bothering me, okay?" I quietly snapped. "Look, don't take this personally. Ive been distant with everyone. Pansy has been asking me the same thing you are at least a thousand times a day. So can we just drop it?" I huffed.

"Hm yeah, fuck you too." He muttered through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.

I pretended not to hear him say that and dug for one of his hoodies to replace my long sleeve shirt.

"I'll be out in a sec." I said.

"Why not change out here? I've seen all of you already." He smirked. "It's just a quick change." I insisted already closing the door behind me.

I took off my shirt and began to look for Daphnes first aid kit. Where the hell was it? Fuck.

I still hadn't been able to disinfect my arm and it was only getting worse.

I couldn't do anything but just layer my arm with toilet paper to stop the bleeding. It's like this girl cut through my arm, rather then actually carving it.

I put his hoodie on shortly and came out.

"I definitely rock this hoodie better than you." I smirked standing at the doorway. "Oh, you wish. Now come lay with me." He uncrossed his arms and scooted to the side of my bed.

I rolled my eyes and went to cuddle with him.

——————

I hated that I was pushing everyone away.

I was so upset that I didn't want to see the people I loved. I just wanted to find out who did this to me first. I couldn't move on. It was impossible.

I wouldn't ever forget that my parents did this to me.

I walked into the common room to meet up with everyone at the couch like usual. "I'm actually going to get a book." I said then turning towards the tall bookshelves. "I'll come with you." Mattheo entered the common room hearing me.