I Accidentally Cared[stopped]

Am

Forever have I ever thought about this? Perfections or infection? I don't know what this world is... It seems like its an incomplete terrible replica of something that was once called perfect.

What is perfect though? Will I ever know?

I've fallen in the hands of someone who broke my heart and spit images onto him that he dodged but seen that I didn't mean. It doesn't make much sense to me but I feel like that's how its supposed to be. Its life. Its how life goes, we make mistakes, we hurt people, we fall, we hurt, we do what we thought we never will. There's too much to it.
There is too much to life.

But guess what, we gotta keep going and do what we have to... We have to complete the impossible tasks that billioneers go through, we have to do it all to even reach a little point of doing what we want to do to make us happy...

Its funny hearing this coming from me because just yesterday I ran away from home... Thing is, life is beautiful and I'm looking forward to everything, kids, jobs, responsibilities... But, I don't think I'll be able to with this heart but I have to fight because that's the only way I'll be able to so what makes me happy. Love.

I went on a speech... That was uncalled for..

In reality though, I'm looking forward for a lot.

I have to life through a lot and to be honest... It was working out fine, until I lost it.

In other words I am still lost.
I'm hungry.
I'm in pain.
I'm the ultimate monster in everyone's night that brings them infinite pain and torture..

Its funny knowing how bipolar I am..

In reality I'm everything, from the best to the worst so I can't even complain about perfection... Because I'm none of that.

But I am what I am... I'm myself, I'm April... The only one who knows who I am is me and no one else... Everyone is different though, and sometimes people are lost and are getting swallowed by the darkness by they have to realize that no one is stealing their dignity, faith, power etc but themselves...

Good thing I'm writing this.. I need some motivation from myself.

I probably need more than just myself I need some therapist or something I don't even know...

I just gotta take my grown and what I control and move on.

"Get away from me."

"What!?"