Choices

11

I sit outside on the front lawn, a bottle of cold beer grasped in my left hand. My eyes look out onto the quiet street ahead of me.

There is only me and another girl out here. She appears to be having a smoke by the front door, I glance over at her and admire her for a second.

She is stunning. Her dark skin glows against the porch light and she has amazing curly hair that glimmers from shine. A dark green dress hugs her body stopping mid-thigh pf her long legs and I notice a thick gold necklace strung from her neck. Her glowing blue eyes meet mine and I quickly look away feeling embarrassed for staring too long. "Do you want some or something?" She has an American accent and I turn my head back towards the gorgeous woman. Her hand is holding her half-used cigarette towards me. I merely shake my head before I go back to staring out upon the dark street.

I sense a presence next to me and I get a whiff of tobacco and some amazing perfume. The girl is sitting down next to me and I grasp my beer with both hands slightly shocked at the fact that she has come over to me.

A hand is held out in front of me and I am taken extremely aback. "Savanah." The model-like girl greets.

I frown at her for a second, confused at how forward she is being. "Olivia." I slowly nod towards her and shake her soft hand hesitantly.

"Penny for your thoughts."

I stare at her as if she is crazy and she lets out a little chuckle.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be intrusive, you just look like you need someone to talk to." Savanah laughs awkwardly and I nod with a small smile pulling at the edge of my lips.

"No it's all good, just life." I shrug my shoulders not really knowing what to say.

"Enlighten me." She says as she takes a long drag from the cigarette before twiddling one of the chunky, gold, drop earrings that hang from her lobes.

I take a swig of my drink and slowly swallow it trying to think of what to say. "Boyfriend trouble. He said that he wouldn't drink so that he could drive us home, he is now drunk in there somewhere with half the buttons of his shirt undone. Said that he got too hot."

"You don't believe him?"

"I don't know what to think to be honest." I huff and down the rest of the beer.

"Well, I don't know if I am the best person to give relationship device considering the fact that I don't seem to have a boyfriend that lasts. But my mum used to say, if you there isn't trust in the relationship then that isn't a true relationship. I think that's why I have gone through so many, no trust or there's a lack of it."

A comfortable silence settles between us and the only sound that could be heard was the music from inside and the occasionally puff that Savanah lets out. "I trust him."

"You telling yourself that or me?" I look at her for a second.

"You," I say bluntly and she raises her eyebrows. "What do you do for a living, Savanah?" Deep down I'm just desperately trying to change the subject away from me and the troubles in my life.

She tilts her head looking surprised that I am asking her a question. "Well, I am a model, but I am also a mum of two. Twins."

I am taken aback and I don't tear my eyes away from her. "Wow."

"Yeah, you'd think that, but they were both with a guy I met on a runway in Milan. Got knocked up by him, haven't seen him since," Savanah laughs to herself again and takes an even longer drag of her cigarette that is coming to the end of its life. "I think my biggest advice I could give to anyone, especially someone as young as you, is follow your heart, not your mind, your heart is the best thing that guides you in life. I wish I had known that a long time ago."

With that the model stands up stamps out her cigarette and struts off in her heels back towards the house.

I frown after her and as she goes to go back inside, she turns back to me. "Olivia, let yourself be free, don't let something stop you from doing something that your heart is telling you to do."

My mind instantly flashes back to the moment in the changing room. My heart had told me to, but my mind had stopped me.

Could this girl be right? As stupid as it may sound but some things you get told by someone you have known five minutes can make you rethink everything.

And right now I don't know what my next step is.

* * *

I ended up having to carry Jack into the Uber last night. He didn't think anything of what I had said to him. Just drank more and I found him with his head in the toilet ten minutes after Savanah had left me sitting there with the empty bottle of beer.

The duvet is pulled tightly around me and I feel a slight headache coming on. A groan leaves my mouth and I put a hand to my forehead. I look at the clock and see that I have an hour until I need to leave for work.

The empty spot next to me tells me that Jack has gone to his meeting and I roll my eyes to myself. If I have a hangover then god knows what he must be feeling right now. He had to have drunk three times as much as me, he was chucking his guts up constantly and when we got home he was throwing up for at least half an hour over and over.

My mind flickers back to Savanah and what she had said to me about following my heart.

But to be honest I have no idea what my heart is telling me to do.

Is it stay with Jack and try and live with the fact that my heart could perhaps lie with someone else? Or is it leave him but live with the guilt of doing that to him?

I am having all these doubts but I know that all Jack has done for me means so much for me and if to be honest I haven't shown him much in return.

I decide that my next step right now is to have a shower.

^

Hi guys,

It is going to get better very soon ;)

See you Wednesday,

Daisy xxx

P.S thoughts on Savanah? Would you like to see more of her eventually?