Hold You Down (Sequel to No Angels)

Chapter Thirty Nine

August
3 Weeks Later
We buried her last week... I walked up to the tombstone with Indi in the stroller holding a rose. I held a rose as well. I placed the rose on the grave and Indi dropped hers down as well.
I drove to Teyana's house to drop off Indi while I went to go see Jae in the hospital. It's been 3 long weeks since she been in the coma. They're gonna take her off today and see how she reacts. For the past three weeks, I realized how much I love Jae. She really is my heart. I walked into her hospital room and the doctors were already in there taking her out the coma. When they took her off, she immediately started having a seizure. I aint never thought Jae would have to go through dis. She stopped having the seizure, and I took her hand. I kissed her forehead, "I love you ma. Please pull through." I fell asleep next to her, and when I woke up, she was awake. She was staring at me intensely. I smiled and kissed her. She smiled weakly before talking, "What happened to me?" "Don't worry about it ma." "Well where's everyone? Where's mama, Tey, Shannon and Indi?" "We buried Ms. Julia last week..." She looked at me and I could see the pain in her eyes. She closed her eyes holding her head. I just kissed her forehead.
Jaelynn
I was released a week after I woke up. Going home was bittersweet for me because I felt so different. I missed my baby, my bed and my family, but my aunt isn't here anymore, which hurt. August still won't tell me what happened to me, so I dont even bother asking anymore. I was in my room one night and I had a flashback. I saw myself walking out of that beautiful beach house August had rented and walking towards the beach. I looked hurt and in pain. I was crying hard. I walked towards the water looking up at the sky. I slowly sat down in the water. Then, I laid back and let the waves move me. I didn't bother to try to float either. I closed my eyes and went under water. I was ready to be free from the world. I wanted to die..
After having that flashback, I walked down the stairs where August was feeding Indi and pushed him. "What the fuck is wrong witchuu ma?" "Why you didn't tell me what I tried to do to myself? Why?" I yelled causing Indi to begin crying. August grabbed me, "Relax Jae. I didn't want you to be reminded of that." "I need to suffer from my mistakes August. That's the only way I can get better mentally." He kissed my forehead, "I know ma. Im sorry. I just aint want you to relive that moment." I nodded and tears came down my face as he kissed my lips. I pulled away, "Go be with Indi" I walked away but that caused Indi to cry even harder. I walked to her picking up her which make her stop. I kissed her forehead.
I'm so selfish for even trying to kill myself. I just bought a baby into the world. What if August hadn't saved me? She would have no mother. Then, my sister, she wouldn't have anyone. I sighed. Tey only moved to Atlanta for me. Then, August. I love him so much. He would have been a single parent trying to balance being who he is and being a parent by himself. I sighed feeling so stupid. I wouldn't want to lose anyone of them, but here I am trying to make them lose me. My aunt died and now, I am willing to accept it. She's happier now. I know for sure. I need to focus on being better for myself, my baby, August and my family and friends. Thank you God for giving me another chance.. 💜
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Yall obviously dont know me if yall thought I was just gon' end like that. Especially without giving yall warning. Nah, I wouldnt do yall like that. I think next chapter might be the last though. After I finish this book, I dunno about a book 3, but I'll see. It depends on what yall want and what I can handle.