Hold You Down (Sequel to No Angels)

Chapter One: Silence...

Jaelynn

For some reason, I've always enjoyed silence. It always gave me time to get caught up in my own thoughts. All through elementary school, middle school and high school, teachers always want silence. I've been taught to be silence. Raised in silence. So it's natural that I would grow to love silence.

But today, silence hurt like hell. I woke up in my hospital bed to silence. I pulled the string to call for a nurse, who came immediately. She smiled at me. "Look who's up. How are you feeling Ms. Ortiz?" I looked at her. "I'm ok. Where's my baby?" "Ok, here's some water for you. And these are the pills you need to take. You should probably eat something." She said ignoring my question. "Where is my baby?!" I asked again in a louder tone. I don't wanna get ratchet in here, but if I have to, I don't mind. "I have another patient to get to." The nurse said. "NO. WHERE IS MY BABY? I WANNA HOLD MY BABY!" I yelled at the nurse. Why she being so damn complicated? "Ok, Ms. Ortiz. You need to calm down." "No. Don't tell me to calm the fuck down. I asked you three times where my baby is bitch. I want to see the doctor right now." She nodded and walked out. A couple minutes later, the doctor came in. "Hello Ms. Ortiz." I cut straight to the point. "Where is my baby doctor? I want to hold him." The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry Ms. Ortiz." I was confused. "What do you mean you're sorry?" The doctor grabbed my hand. "Your baby was stillborn. He didn't make it. I'm so sorry." I looked at the doctor like she was crazy with tears in my eyes. "What?" "I'm so sorry." I cried. Eight whole months of carrying that baby. I've been excited about this baby, but now he's gone. And I'm here in this hospital all alone. Never got to even hold him or look at him. I wanted this baby so bad. I tried my hardest to be healthy while I was pregnant. I wanted to hold a crying baby like everyone else. I wanted to kiss his forehead and tell him everything was ok, that mama was here. I wanted to spoil him with anything he wanted and love him unconditionally. If he were here, I'd name him Melvin after August's brother, Brian after my father, Alsina.

I never expected to be burying my baby.

When it was time for my release, I called Chaz. I tried calling August again, but got no answer. The doctor rolled me outside to Chaz's car, and I got in. He looked at me as I sat there in tears. I couldn't bare the silence in the car anymore because it reminded me of how my baby was born: silent. I turned on the radio, and didn't say a word on the ride home. When I got home, I crawled into my bed. Chaz was right there with me, holding me and giving me his shoulder to cry on. I cried myself to sleep, and I made myself sick. I feel like a failure. Why do I have to have the baby who dies? Why me? I loved the baby so much before I could even see him. I still do love him.

But I hate silence.

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So this is the first chapter. Please please please comment and vote.