Disallowed ⇔ Matty Healy

Chapter 1

~Matty~

I sit on the bottom of my bed strumming my guitar. In an attempt to block out the bickering. The constant arguing and shouting. I should be used to it by now. Being with this family for the past year, it should be classed as normal. A daily occurrence.

But how can this be home? How the hell can this be classed as a family?

There's no love. No happiness. Nothing.

I feel nothing. Except empty. Empty and lonely.

I stare across at my rucksack, hid behind a pillow near the window. Packed and ready to go. Same here with me.

I'm done with this place. These people, that couldn't give two shits about me. Who are clearly only doing this for the money. Using the money to drink all day, everyday.

I'm out of here. As soon as they hit the bedroom, I'm gone.

I don't exactly have anywhere planned to go. But surely anywhere is better than here. I'll take the risk. I'll find a place, get a job and live on my own. Like I've wanted to for years.

I'm done with fake families and all the bullshit that comes along with it. I'm sick of being a fucking object that gets passed around.

It's time i started living MY life. It's my life to live. Not anyone else'.

I check the time, seeing it's half past 10. 

I'm almost free from hell.

My heart rate quickens as i know it's almost time. Not from fear though, It's more excitement. Adrenaline.

I stare out of the window, the night slowly creeping in now.

I've been planning and ready to do this for months...

The door to their bedroom slams shut. Informing me it's time. I'm not sticking around any longer than i have to.

I throw my bag out of the window first. It hits the ground with a thud. I look back, taking one last look around the room. Double checking i have everything i need - not that i have a lot of baggage.

I push my guitar onto my back and attempt to climb out when the damn dog starts barking. I know my time is limited now. I throw myself onto the ground in a panic.

My shoulder and the side of my face hits the ground with a thud. My face instantly stinging and burning like hell. I wince and almost cry out in pain, until i see their bedroom light flick on suddenly.

Pain shot through out all my body, but i had to get up. I can't give in now.

"Oi!" he shouts, followed with the sound of the bedroom door slamming against the wall - to check on me.

"Shit!" I curse, trying to concentrate and staying up. But i trip, hitting the ground again.

"Stop him" she cries out. "He's trying to run away" she screams.

I stay on the ground, shock taking over my body.

He's out of the front door in quick speed and heading right for me. "I've fucking had it with you lad!" he growls through clenched teeth.

I shake my head, not being able to concentrate as i hear my heartbeat in my ears. Drowning out everything around me.

I go to get up again. For one final chance.

But I'm too late. It's too late....

His large hand grabs me, tearing me off of the ground easily and quickly. His cold hand whips me across the face. Busting my lip open. Adding onto the unbearable pain already cursing through my body. 

I struggle to hold myself up, i can't even manage to lift my head up. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" he shakes me viciously. My head spinning. On the verge of passing out now.

"Why are you doing this?" she calls out now, heading over "we welcomed you into our home. Made you a part of this family. And look how you repay us" witch hisses at the side of me.

I keep my attention on the floor.

Having nothing to say.

Why can't they just let me go!

"Get back inside" she spat. Rubbing at her temples as though she was thinking. What's to think about? Just let me go!

"You're going in the morning lad. I'm done with you" he growled in my ear before pulling me along behind him, back into the house.

"First thing in the morning, we'll call the adoption agency" she told him, like i wasn't even there.

"Bed!" he shouted as soon as we got inside, pointing towards the stairs "Before i do something i really fucking regret, Michael" he spat. Pushing me towards the stairs with force.

.... It's Matthew.

I got back into my room, throwing myself down on my bed. Tears filled my eyes, but i couldn't cry. I wiped them away quickly with my forearms. Trying to hold myself together. I have no choice but to.

So, now what?

New family. New home.

..... Same old shit to come.