Whirlpool

Marriage

Marriage is stupid
I hate the concept, it's unrealistic, and most of the time it doesn't work right the first few times. Marriage is depicted in so many ways I don't even know what to believe. The idea of marriage comes around and I think I look pretty with a ring on my hand. Yet again I could wear so many rings if it were my choice without a person tying me to it at the other end of the line.
I think of the idea of me in the kitchen cooking with a slight sway to my hips as I hum along to the music I play on the kitchen speaker.  Thoughts of children, and a happy family, with me at home to take care of them. I considered it, but then I realized that I have to choose right, I'd have to factor in that it won't be pitch perfect and that parenting is hard. I'd have to realize that all the people looking towards me to be someone successful, a CEO, an engineer, a surgeon, a millionaire will be let down, they will all see me as that one they hoped for but failed again.
But in my eyes it wouldn't have been a failure if i played my cards right, if i gambled correctly. Perhaps if i played it like chess, and if i won perhaps maybe then just then would i not be seen as a failure...
But thats in a perfect world,
Because in reality marriage is horrible.
It's just a dragged out game waiting for divorce to take place, and then 3 strikes and you're out.
The idea of belonging to one person for the rest of your life is unrealistic, because there will be other people, people who could treat them better than you could, who look better than you. Who ARE better than you. Whether they leave you or not isn't the point, because humans are greedy and inconsiderate. At any time if they wanted they could take what they wanted. Whether you find out or not is up to the future to decide.
Marriage is stupid, the idea that one person could make you happy for the rest of your life. The idea that one single person could mean enough that for the rest of their life they are completely flawless to you. The idea that someone could fit so perfectly into place in your life.
Take me for example, let's pretend you're me. You grew up seeing a marriage, viewing many marriages. Your parents, lovely people sure. Yet you knew how they fought each other at night no matter how much they tried to hide it. You know how your father was greedy and would take women as they came to him, repeating history, never learning. Now he's stuck with 6 children,5 who hate him, two of those who don't even call him father, and then you.  You know how your mother grew up traumatized and suffered, how her life abided by the idea that the abused become the abuser and now you two can't handle being in the same room with each other. You know how your uncle was a scummy guy, a player, how he went from girl to girl just like your dad and when it was announced that your uncle and his wife got divorced it wasn't a surprise because you figured it was gonna happen one day. How your other uncle is so happy with his fiance and now you're only counting the days until they break up or get divorced. Your grandma who couldn't keep a husband and still hasn't. It would make sense wouldn't it? Marriage is horrible. Marriage is stupid. Marriage is unreal. Marriage is useless. Yet I cannot stop myself from thinking about how lovely it COULD be. Pathetic, just  a bit don't you think?