giving love a second chance

16. his feelings

Ishq anokhi ek khata hai
Ishq musalsal ek saza hai

Words are very powerful, they can either give you hope in a tunnel of darkness or they can make you feel hopeless with all the right resources available.

"I can live with his memories, I have already given love my chance."

For her, it was just words which she uttered but for him, they were no less than venom.

He closed his eyes in despair and could hear her voice playing out in his brain continuously. He put his hands around his head to block that voice and opened his eyes with a jerk as waking from a nightmare.

But this was his reality. Hania coming back into his life, her proposal, their marriage, her perception of this marriage.

It was so different from his perception. For him, it was an unasked prayer (dua) getting fulfilled while for her it was an escape. And in this process of her escape, he wondered what his role was.

" can you marry me ?"
He recalled her words - it all looked so simple. She was perplexed to marry a stranger and spend the rest of her life with him. And in him, she saw her old lost companion and felt comfortable enough to share her future with him. But it was not as simple as he thought.

She married him just to get away from her family's concerns and questions. And he was simply an easy target for her, nothing more than that.

But now what?

She loves someone else and will eventually leave him for that someone. That mere thought crushed his soul.

His mind diverted as he heard the sound of the door unlocking and there came the one who was oblivious to his misery. The misery which she gave him.

He looked at her blankly with the hope that she will say whatever she said earlier had no meaning and she was trying to pull a dramatic stunt on him.
Instead, she looked back at him with pleading eyes and a disappointed expression.

His eyes glinted with pain as she walked towards him. Before she could say anything he hurriedly went towards the restroom and closed the door with a thud.

Hania was concerned seeing his reaction nonetheless decided to give him space.

He just wanted to run away from her. Facing her at this moment was the last thing he wanted to do. He wished .he could aimlessly drive on the streets but going out at this hour on his wedding night was not a sensible move he knew.

To calm the lava of emotions flowing inside him he opened the tap and let the lukewarm water run down his shoulders. As the water cascaded he felt the burning sensation in his heart reducing to some extent. It was there it didn't vanish but now he found himself in a position to control those emotions instead of them overpowering him.

Warm showers always helped him to relax.

He needed to be in charge of his emotions or else he would have settled for nothing less than a confrontation. He remembered his father's words.

" Ayaan, be more careful with women when you are angry. They are as sensitive and vulnerable as the spinal cord. One wrong move ( word ) can destroy everything. "

He closed the tap and changed to his regular clothes. Gathering all his thoughts he stepped outside to find Hania sleeping peacefully.

He went towards her side to have a closer look. He felt an urge to pat her cheek but refrained from it.
"Many people have used me for their benefits but Hania you have to be the best one." He said to her sleeping figure.
He put the duvet over her and went towards the sofa.