Eunoia 2 [{V.H}]

1

Kitty

"The hardest thing to convey to convey to the world, is that I lost so much more than meets the eye. I lost my innocence, an ocean of hopes and dreams, the privilege to use your beautiful name in normal conversation, and to know who you'd be today, instead of wondering."

I set the book down gently, my eyes closing as my body wishes to sink further into the seat I'm in.

Of course when I finally pick up the book and read the first paragraph in it- it's the most depressing thing I could've possibly seen.

Great.

"You okay?"

I open my eyes and without moving my head, I shift my eyes over to Vinnie in the drivers seat of the rental car. He worriedly glances over to me, his body sitting straight up in the seat while his knuckles momentarily turn white.

No, but I nod my head anyways and finally turn my face toward him to get a good look at his posture.

He looks so tense.

It's probably my fault too.

I lift my hand from the book on my lap and lean forward to run my hand through his hair on the side of his head, trying my best to comfort him and it seems to work, even if it's for a second. His body releases its tension and I sit back in my seat, my head turning to look out of the window so I can see the scenery as it passes.

We landed an hour ago, but we've been driving south towards Massachusetts in order to get to the house that we're all staying at.

I'm just exhausted and I'm cramping too.

I frown and then jump in surprise when my window suddenly rolls down.

I turn my head to look over my shoulder at Vinnie, but he only gives me a sideways glance.

The chilly air that pours in from the window, fills the car and bites my cheeks, but it feels nice against my hot cheeks.

My fever broke when we landed, so that means no more chills and temperature checks from Kio.

Something that I've learned about birth, is that women's temperatures rise, and obviously if they get too high- it can be dangerous.

Who knew having a baby could be so dangerous.

But I didn't have a baby.

Technically it was a clump of cells that hadn't formed actual human qualities yet so..

It wasn't a baby.

That's at least what I'm telling myself.

At least this time I didn't know the gender or any of that fun stuff.

Before I left the clinic, they took out my old nexplanon and replaced it with a new one, and gave me the date that the new one will expire on.

Thats helpful I guess.

I lean my head back against the head rest of my seat, letting the wind turn my cheeks numb and I close my eyes again.

From the moment we stepped off the plane, i was freezing. Not just because it was physically cold, but because I was nervous. I still am, but those cold shakes turned into my body over heating a bit and my face turning red.