Eunoia 2 [{V.H}]

25

Kitty

I think my statement put Vinnie on edge. I didn't mean to, and I didn't mean it as we'd talk about it anytime soon. Honestly I'm doing decently right now and I don't want anything to set me back, so a conversation that's making Vinnie anxious is not something I want right now.

So I told him that we don't need to have it right this second, which seemed to relieve some of his stress.

Although- I was reminded that pretty soon I'll have to go back to a lab where I create drugs.

It sent me into a brief panic attack where I excused myself to shower and I sat on the floor letting the water run down my back while I stared into space, wondering if Vinnie and I will ever actually have normal lives or if we'll be riddled with anxiety and nightmares forever.

I blow a strand of my hair out of my eyes, my knife slicing apples effortlessly until I'm done and I slide them off the cutting board. They land in the skillet on the stove and I turn around, going to reach for the cinnamon but I find Vinnie leant against the counter, his chin in his hand while he stares up at me.

I jump at his sudden appearance, "No."

He raises his brows at me, a smile creeping onto his lips, "No?"

"You've got to stop doing that." I tell him as I point the knife in my hand at him, "I'll end up hurting you."

He glances down at the knife, "That'd be hot."

He stands up off the counter and comes around to me, taking my wrist to raise it, placing the knife against his throat. I stare up at him with wide eyes, as he leans into the blade slightly, a mischievous look in his eyes.

"You into knife play Cherry?"

I flicker my eyes down to the blade and swallow hard, bewildered at his actions, but should I really be all that surprised?

I ask generally, my voice small and nervous. "What if I were to accidentally cut you?"

"Then you'd just be making an even bigger mess than usual."

I raise my gaze to meet his, and he licks his lips.

We stare at each other for a moment until I break the eye contact, a shiver running up my spine.

"You're insane." I croak out, turning away from him.

"Insane about you." He responds while he presses up against me, his hand reaching out to take the knife from me, "Honestly, I'd love to see how you react under the blade baby."

I think about it for a second, laying on my back and helpless on the bed, Vinnie over top of me with a knife. That sounds amazing, until the cold blade would press against my hot skin, reminding me of the pieces of glass that sliced my skin and tore my flesh like butter.

I can still feel the itching from the scars, how long it took for them to heal. How it felt to move and have a scab catch on my sweater-

Vinnie tries to take the knife from my grasp but I keep my hand around it tight, and when he can't get it from me from one little tug, he doesn't try again.

I don't move my head as I shift my eyes up at him, cutting my eyes up at him to firmly state, "No thank you."

He furrows his brows at me, looking at me slightly confused until realization flashes across his face, but he hides it well. "We'll find something that you like."

Thank you for understanding.

I nod my head and turn from him, setting the knife down onto the counter, not wanting to touch it or even look at it anymore, and pick up a large wooden spoon.