Eunoia 2 [{V.H}]

5

Kitty

"Thank you Kent."

The doctor smiles on my laptop screen, "Of course Kitty, I'll see you in two days."

I nod my head and hang up the call before shutting my laptop screen. I run my fingers through my hair and stand up from the long kitchen table, both Hera and Finch who were laying under the table, stand up.

The two animals follow me down the hallway to the library where I last saw Vinnie setting up his apple computer, to find he's still there but now he's typing wildly with airpods in his ears.

He sees me in the doorway and looks up at me, his fingers stopping their typing so he can take out his headphones.

"How'd it go?" He asks and I shrug a shoulder.

"He still wants me to go to a grief counselor." I walk into the room, and he looks at his computer, his hand moving to the mouse to quickly click out of whatever he was doing.

I sit down on the edge of the thick wooded desk and pull my sleeves down my hands with a shiver, "Why is this house always so cold?"

"I think the heat might've gone out last night." Vinnie sighs as he sits back, "I didn't think this would be so much work."

I look down at him, raising my brows in question but he catches me look and grins up at me.

"I'm kidding Kitty." He scoots his wheelie chair over to me and rests his hands on my thighs, "I knew that I'd have to work for it.."

I put my hands in his hair, brushing the locks from his eyes, "We haven't even started on it though."

Vinnie admits quietly, "I didn't want to do anything until you could."

I press my lips into a line.

I'm feeling a little better, but not very much. We've had Finch for about two days now, and I'm starting to feel guilty- almost like I've filled whatever motherly roll, I could've had, with Finch. I've loosened my grip on Vinnie just a tad to hold onto the two animals like they're my children.

Kent explained to me that that tends to happen with miscarriage sufferers, but it still didn't make me feel any better.

Plus, I still feel like I'm suffocating Vinnie by following him from room to room every time I get the chance.

I've done it a little less though today, so I'm proud of myself.

"Kent mentioned coping skills." I share with Vinnie, "Maybe fixing the house up would help me."

Vinnie leans forward and rests his chin on my lap, giving me permission to run my fingers through his hair fully, so I do.

He sighs heavily against me and nods his head, "I'm down for that."

"We should make a list." I look up at the ceiling in thought, "I want to paint the walls a different color, pick through the furniture to see what we want, and put some more book shelves up."

There's no serious telling on how long we'll be here. It's only been a week since we arrived but it just doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel completely like home how the house in California did.

My chest becomes heavy and I sigh, closing my eyes while I lower my head down in defeat.

"I miss our bed."

Vinnie turns his head to look up at me, sadness in his eyes as he nods slightly, silently agreeing with me.

"We can order a new mattress, I know where and what brand it is." Vinnie offers but I shake my head.