GIRLFRIEND // B.E

eighteen.

•billie•

"she freaked out, dude," i mumbled. "i tried to calm her down and assure her that it was okay, but she just left."

atticus looked down as i painted his nails. he always insists that i paint them for him because he "can't" do them himself. i don't think he's ever even attempted it though, to be honest.

"maybe you're a bad kisser," he joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

i sent him an unamused stare. he let out a sigh.

"i mean... i can see why she freaked out; she cheated on her girlfriend," he sent me a look.

"so? her girlfriend is stupid and an ass," i muttered.

"it's still cheating."

i let out a mix of a groan and a whine. "why the fuck does she have to be in a relationship? this isn't fair."

he pursed his lips for a moment. "well, since she cheated... they probably won't be together too much longer, huh?"

"i guess not. leila doesn't seem like the type to forgive cheating, so..."

"do you think zayda will even tell her?" he raised a brow.

"i dunno," i sighed. "probably, but at the same time, i have a feeling that it'll take her a while to woke up the courage to do so, you know?"

"yeah," he nodded. "so... what happened after she left?"

"i cried."

he frowned. he pulled me into a hug, though it was kinda awkward because he wasn't really hugging me; he had his hands extended outwards since his nails were still drying.

i appreciate the attempt though.

"i've tried texting her and calling her, but she's been ignoring me," i told him. "i'm tempted to just go to her house right now."

"don't," he shook his head. "give her some space; let her think this through. give her some time, bil."

"i have given her space and time," i muttered as i finished painting his nails.

"it's been two days."

"two days is plenty long enough," i grumbled with a small huff as i crossed my arms over my chest.

i sat up from where we had been sitting on the floor in my bedroom. i plopped down onto my bed, and i buried my face into my pillow as i laid there.

atti got into the bed a few minutes later, after his nails had completely dried. wordlessly, he pulled me into his embrace, and he let me bury my face into his chest instead of my pillow.

without really meaning to, i started crying as we laid there.

i miss zay.

call me dramatic, i don't care, but it's weird to not be on talking terms with her. we practically haven't stopped talking since we met, so it's just weird.

then there's the kiss. it doesn't help that she's an amazing kisser. the feeling of her lips on mine is almost all i've been able to think about since we kissed.

also, there's the fact that the kiss might've just ruined our friendship entirely. like, what if she just never speaks to me again?

i don't wanna think about that.

"it's okay," atti murmured as he did his best to soothe me. he kissed the top of my head. "it'll all be okay, and everything will work out eventually. don't worry."

i sniffled, but i didn't reply. i cuddled closer to him as i tried to stop crying.

•••

it's a few hours later. after i had stopped crying, i had ended up falling asleep and taking a nap.

i'm still laying in my bed. atticus left a bit ago, but only to go get some food. i had insisted that i wasn't hungry, and that i didn't want any food, but he went and got some anyways.

as i laid there, you belong with me by taylor swift played through my speakers.

"and you've got a smile that can light up this whole town. i haven't seen it in a while, since she brought you down. you say you're fine, i know you better than that. hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?"

i let out a frustrated scream, though my pillow muffled it some; i was laying face down on my bed.

i heard a knock on the door. assuming it was atticus, i told them to come in. i turned on my side, and i saw that it was finneas.

"what do you want?"

"nothing, just..." he trailed off, before shrugging. "that advice you asked for a couple of months ago... i knew it wasn't for a friend," he snickered.

"yeah, it was," i huffed.

"yeah? what's their name then?" he raised a brow.

"uh... william..." i cleared my throat.

he laughed loudly. i rolled my eyes as i turned on my side to face away from him. "dude, fuck off. it doesn't even matter anymore."

"what happened, bil?" he asked softly. "it's with zayda, right? she hasn't been over in a few days, which is weird considering the fact that she's always over here."

"yeah, but like i said, it doesn't even matter anymore," i muttered. "i don't wanna talk about it."

he sighed. "you know i'm here for you if you do."

"yeah, i know."

he went to walk out, but as he was closing the door, he peeked his head back into the room "or if your friend, william, needs advice again." he had a shit eating grin on his face as he said it.

"fuck off!"

•••

"eat, bitch."

"no. i've already told you that i'm not hungry!" i pushed away the burrito that atti was trying to force into my hands.

"am i gonna have to force feed you like you're a fucking child? because i will!" he threatened.

"no! i'm just not hungry; it's really not that big of a deal," i groaned.

"yeah, it is a big deal. when you don't wanna eat taco bell, you know there's something up."

"i just don't feel like eating, jeez," i pushed the burrito away again. "even i did eat it, i'd probably end up throwing it up later anyways," i muttered under my breath, because i truly don't think i can stomach any type of food right now.

like... i just have no appetite when i'm upset. it's hard to eat when i'm upset.

though there are sometimes when i'm upset, where i'll just binge eat. i don't know which is worse.

"come on, just a few bites? please? you haven't eaten all day," he frowned.

i stared at him for a moment. i tried my hardest not to cave, but i eventually did. "fine, fine. i'll eat a few bites, but that's it."

"good, just as long as you eat something," he gave a smile before ruffling my hair and giving me the burrito.

•••

a/n ayooo

thoughts?

any predictions?

any ideas??

words:
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