GIRLFRIEND // B.E

nineteen.

•billie•

"come on, bil," atticus attempted to pull me out of my bed. "you gotta get up."

"no, i don't," i huffed. "i don't have to do shit!"

i heard him mutter something. he then picked me up before making me stand up. i glared up at him as he did, but he only let out a laugh.

"come on, you gotta get ready," he patted my head before trying to push me towards my closet.

"why?" i crossed my arms over my chest.

"you gotta go to school; you already missed the first day back. you don't need to miss another day," he explained.

i let out a low groan before walking towards my closet. i shut him out before looking for an outfit.

it's been a little over a week since me and zayda kissed. she's still been ignoring me.

i've been just laying in bed for the past week. atticus has stayed over the entire time to make sure i eat, and hydrate, and all that.

school started back yesterday for the second semester of the year. i stayed home, because quite frankly, i didn't wanna go.

i don't wanna go today either. atti is forcing me to though.

i just wanna stay home, in my bed, and sleep.

i picked out a hoodie and a pair of sweats, which was followed by a pair of sneakers. i then pulled my hair into a quick, messy bun. i've put the absolute bare minimum into my appearance today, but i don't care.

i walked out of the closet. atticus, who had already gotten ready before he even attempted to get me out of the bed, held out my backpack for me to grab with a big, stupid grin on his face. i did so with a small huff.

i walked out of my room after grabbing my keys off of my dresser. he followed me out.

i mumbled out a "bye" to my parents, who were eating breakfast in the kitchen. i'm guessing finneas was still asleep in his bedroom.

lucky.

we walked out to my car. i got into the driver's seat, while atticus got into the passenger seat.

•••

whenever i got to my first block class, i was surprised to see that i was one of the first people to get there. i took that opportunity to go sit in one of the back corners.

i set my book bag against my desk. i then crossed my arms over the top of my desk, and i laid my head in them.

i don't wanna be here.

i ended up falling asleep and taking a small nap. i was woken up, which i assume was not too much later, by the people who were sitting near me. they were talking loud as hell.

i propped my head against my hand. i looked around the classroom. it was full now, as opposed to how empty it was when i had entered it. the teacher was standing in the doorway, and she was talking to some other teacher.

i looked towards the front of the class room. i spotted zayda. she was fidgeting with one of the rings she was wearing; she was repeatedly taking it off, only to put it right back on, or she would spin it around her finger.

she only does that when she's nervous or upset.

i watched for a moment. my eyes traveled to her wrist, where i saw that she was still wearing our matching bracelet. i bit my lip to contain a small smile, though i'm still pretty upset that we haven't talked in over a week.

i looked down, beside her desk. her book bag was propped against it.

before, it had been just a plain, white adidas book bag. then one day, me and zay had drawn all types of shit all over it. it was colorful as hell now.

that day was so fun.

she turned around, and i quickly averted my eyes. i felt her eyes on me for what felt like an eternity before she turned away. i let out a sigh as i let my head fall onto my desk.

i hate this so much.

•••

"see? today hasn't been that bad so far, huh?" atticus asked as we walked through the halls after third block.

"yeah, it has. i don't wanna be here," i muttered. i had one hand shoved into my pocket, while my other one was gripping my book bag strap to keep it on my shoulder.

"nobody wants to be at school," he nudged my shoulder. "that's normal."

"well, i especially don't wanna be here," i grumbled.

i looked over to the side, though i immediately regretted it. zayda was leaning against the lockers, with leila standing in front of her, and they were making out as if their life depended on it or some shit. zay's hands were tangled into leila's hair to pull her impossibly closer.

nope, i can't do this.

i looked away, and i started walking quicker, though i was now walking in the direction of the exit.

"billie, come back," atti tried to call after me. i ignored him though as i continued to walk out of the school.

"bil!" atticus caught up to me. he grabbed my hand to stop me. "come on—"

"no," i cut him off. "i'm not... that— i did not need to see that, not today," i shook my head as tears brimmed my eyes. my head started repeatedly jerking around.

tic attack.

"i'm going home," i muttered as i pulled my hand away from his. i started walking to my car.

i heard him follow me. "okay, but lemme drive, alright? you can just sit in the passenger seat, try to calm down."

i nodded. we got into my car. as he drove back home, i didn't really try to suppress my tics. i just let them happen.

once we got to my house though, they had calmed down quite a bit.

"woah, you okay?" finneas stopped me as i tried to go into my room.

i barely looked up at him before shaking my head. i let it fall into his chest. he wasted now time in wrapping his arms around me comfortingly.

•••

a/n ayoo

thoughts?

predictions?

words:
1050