GIRLFRIEND // B.E

twenty-one.

•billie•

"finny," i knocked on his door.

"come in," he told me. when i walked in, he raised a brow. "what's up?"

"can i talk to you about something?" i asked.

"always."

i walked over to his bed. i sat leaning against the wall, and i pulled my legs to my chest.

i was silent for a moment. he looked at me expectingly, but still let me gather my thoughts.

i told him about the whole situation with zay. i told him everything. he let me finish explaining it all before he said something.

"i just... i don't know what to do," i mumbled before letting my head rest against my knees.

"okay... the kiss," he started. "did she kiss you? like, did she kiss you first, you know?"

"yeah," i nodded. "but like i said, she started freaking out and saying how she shouldn't have done it."

he propped his elbow on his arm rest and then propped his head in his hand. he crossed one leg over the other. "well... if she kissed you first, then some part of her wanted to kiss you, whether she realizes it or not. the only reason she freaked out, is probably just because she has a girlfriend."

i was silent for a moment as i processed what he said. my eyebrow twitched, but he continued on.

"it's not that she didn't want to kiss you; it's that she couldn't or shouldn't have, because kissing you was cheating," he explained. "it's nothing against you. honestly, i bet you she's been freaking out about it since it happened. zayda doesn't seem like the type to cheat."

he pursed his lips before shrugging. "at least, that's what i think. i could be wrong."

"no, you probably are right," i mumbled as i hugged my legs tighter. "man, why do you have to be so smart?"

he laughed a bit. "i'm just thinking logically; if that's the case, it would just make sense."

i let out a small huff. "so, what should i do?"

"well, you can either wait for her to come to you, or you confront her. either way you choose, i think that you two have to talk about it."

i sighed and rested my forehead on my knees. i don't want to confront her about it, but at the same time, will she even come to me to talk about it?

i sat there for a few more moments before i stood up. i gestured for finneas to stand up too, so that i could give him a hug.

"thank you," i murmured.

"yeah, of course," he hugged me tightly. "i've said it before, and i'll say it again; i'm always here for you, bil. whether you need advice or whatever else. i've gotchu."

"thank you," i told him again. "you're the best."

•••

"i'm in the corner watching you kiss her. i'm right over here, why can't you see me?" i sang softly as i strummed my ukulele. "i've gave it my all, but i'm not the girl you're taking home. i keep dancing on my own."

i let out a sigh as i let my head fall back. it hit the wall with a small thud. i sat like that for a moment, and i glanced around my room.

atticus had to leave earlier. his mom had practically begged him to come home, since he's been over at my house for the past three weeks. he almost didn't go back home, but since he's a momma's boy and she said please, he did.